Join me on my adventures around Poland and the rest of Europe as I explore the different sights, cultures, and perspectives it has to offer. Along the way I will attempt to find the best food, the most scenic views, and the interestingest people...all while trying not to make a fool of myself, get kidnapped, or fall off a cliff. I hope you enjoy!
Sitting at home during the 2017 holiday break, I was bored, thinking about how I passed the time during last year's week between Christmas and NYE. Ok, I wasn't bored, but I did think about it. Then I remembered that Zosia and I went to Poznan, and that I didn't write anything. So, exactly 1 year later, here it is.
Often when living abroad, in the middle of Europe, it's tempting to visit the surrounding countries, since it's so easy to get to a Latvia, Turkey, or Italy from Poland compared to from Seattle. This is what I did during my first few years in Poland. New countries every month. But sometimes we forget to explore what is essentially our back yard. I've lived in Poland for over 7 years, and there are still places in Poland that I haven't visited. Luckily, I've been to most of the main hard-to-pronounce places, such as Gdańsk, Wrocław, Kraków, Kazimierz Dolny, Toruń, Zakopane, and Białowieża (and now I'm realizing how weird those words look if you are not familiar with the Polish language). But until Christmas 2016, I hadn't explored Poznań. I had been there for a triathlon a couple years before, but I didn't see anything except the big lake and about 90 km of empty roads around the city.
So Zosia and I made a last minute decision to go to Poznań, located 3 hours away, half way to Berlin. Poznań was established sometime in the 10th century, and was for a time a German city. A lot of people there speak German as their second language. I found it amusing that the reception lady at the hotel spoke English with a German accent, even though she was Polish.
Poznań Old Town
Along the river
One of the interesting neighborhoods there is Ostrów Tumski, a small island in the city with museums and the oldest cathedral in Poland. Several Polish kings are buried there, including Mieszko I, who was the first Christian ruler of Poland in the 10th century. That's about the extent of the educational part of this post.
The old cathedral doesn't look old
A king is buried there! But it was blocked off so we couldn't get close
To help us with more sightseeing, we found a tourist scavenger hunt game on the internet, and spent a couple hours exploring the city looking for clues. I'm serious. Two grown people walking around the city, inspecting wall engravings, looking into strangers windows, circling the same blocks over and over...I'm sure we didn't look suspicious (or pathetic) at all! Anyway, it was a lot of fun and I definitely recommend something like this. The website we used had many different themes, but ours was Codebreakers, as a tribute to the Polish code breakers from WWII who studied in Poznan. You've probably heard about Alan Turing, but apparently the Polish guys had a big influence on his core breaking success, even though they are not really mentioned in the movie "The Imitation Game". And since the weren't mentioned in a Hollywood movie, probably nobody knows that it happened. If you find yourself in Poznań, give it a shot (though some of the clues didn't make sense...we managed to figure it out...and since we successfully cracked it, they put our names on the website for a couple days...FAMOUS!).
Breaking codes and taking names
It was really cold walking around, so we also needed some alcohol blanket. That led us to the Lech Brewery. The beer is nothing special, but it's always fun to visit breweries or wineries as a tourist, because somehow the tour becomes more fun as you sample the goods. Funny how that is.
"Lech" is the sound you make when you clear your throat
Unfortunately a couple restaurants we wanted to try weren't open due to the holiday. Na Winklu for baked pierogi, and Yetz Tu for ramen both left us sad and hungry. It's frustrating when the restaurants don't ask for your permission before taking time off. Then it makes me wish I owned a restaurant that was so successful that I could just close it and not worry about losing revenue or customer loyalty due to breaking their hearts and causing them to die of starvation. Who am I kidding, they probably don't care that I wanted to give them my money. And of course, I'll still go the next time I'm in Poznan. They win.
Turkey. Potatoes. Cranberries. Pumpkin. These are the essentials of an American Thanksgiving dinner. And luckily I was able to have them all on Thanksgiving 2016, even though I was in Kazakhstan. The composition of the meal, however, took a bit of creativity. The nice folks at our Almaty office took me out to dinner and made sure I got what I needed: duck breast with pumpkin, roasted potatoes, fried turkey salad, and a cranberry martini. Close enough.
Thanksgiving dinner
When I landed in Almaty, the trip was off to a good start. After 11 hours of travel (a 6.5 hour flight from Frankfurt), plus a 4 hour time difference, I arrived in Almaty after midnight. With a crowded border control, filled with a bunch of tired, grumpy passengers, I expected the worst. But the border agent smiled, saying the words "Welcome", "Thank you", and "Goodbye" all in the same conversation. I don't think that has ever happened to me in my entire life. Another pleasant surprise was that there was snow everywhere. It was November 19, and there was at least a foot of snow on the ground. But actually, I don't think I imagined Kazakhstan any other way.
I flew out there a couple days before my work obligation, to spend some time touring the area. After a couple hours of sleep, I met Aigerim, a local friend from work, and one of her friends, whom she only refers to as "crazy". We headed up to the mountains (Shymbulak) to meet Yuliya, another PwCer, whom I've known for a few years. Unfortunately, I didn't have any snowboarding gear, but it was still nice to go up the gondolas, walk around in the snow drifts, and enjoy a couple hot toddies. I don't even know what a "hot toddy" is, and I probably didn't actually drink one, but when I think of a warm, alcoholic beverage consumed while surrounded by snow, I call it a hot toddy. We couldn't see much through the heavily falling snow; Yuliya even teased me, saying that the toilet was down the hill, requiring a hike through zero-visibility. I probably would still be there trying to find it, had I listened to her. I've taken long trips to the bathroom before, but not because of getting lost in a snow storm. A couple weeks earlier, while in Riga, I had to buy snow boots because of a sudden snow storm there as well...which was a good thing, because I wouldn't have managed without them.
With Aigerim and Yuliya
Lots of snow everywhere
View from the office
After coming back to the city, I met with Russian Inna and her husband Zhenya. Inna worked with me in Uzbekistan in 2015, so it was nice to reconnect. Our second "Stan" country together! In all honesty, it's nice to travel with her, not only because we get along and have similar sightseeing interests, but because she speaks Russian and can communicate in this area much better than I can. Her husband didn't speak English, but I could tell he's a very insightful and funny guy. It's nice how you can get along with someone even without speaking the same language. He was constantly joking around, though admittedly some of the humor was lost in translation; one joke went something like "why does the sun rise and set?" "Because Japan is raising their flag for the day". I have a feeling Zosia would have been laughing, but I could only manage a crinkled nose and a "huh?". We walked a bit through the snow, and took the cable car from the city to Kok Tobe, an amusement park on the hill. It was similar to the park in Tbilisi, but because it was cold and snowy, there weren't any people there.
Inna, the bird lady
Although they consider Almaty the "soul" of the country, Astana is the capital. I didn't go to Astana, but the concept is interesting to me. They moved the capital from Almaty to Astana (then named Akmola) in 1997, then renamed it to Astana (which means "Capital City") in 1998. It's a planned city with big, attention-seeking buildings, in the flat plains in the middle of nowhere. And it's cold, similar to Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia.
At first glance, the people in Kazakhstan look Asian. That's because they are, dummy, since it's Central Asia. But I just want you to know that I didn't see a single person who looked like Borat or his award winning sister. Generally Kazakhs are Muslim, but more in tradition than in religion, if that makes any sense. I'm not sure if this is a Muslim tradition, but one important custom is that the youngest son has to ("gets to") take care of the parents when they get old. It's just a way of life; they don't question it. There are also Russians and other Central Asian and Eastern European ethnicities living there. During WWII, a lot of Koreans were deported to Kazakhstan from other parts of the Soviet Union, so you can find a few Koreans (and Korean food) as well. One of the girls at the office is Korean, grew up in Russia, and now lives in Kazakhstan. I had to ask her to explain it a couple times. Another thing that confused me is that some people speak Kazakh, some Russian, but not everyone speaks both. It's possible that you wouldn't speak the same language as your neighbor, even if you've both lived there your whole lives. Lucky for me, people that I interacted with spoke really good English.
Since Kazakhstan is so large, flat and desolate (in a good way), some of the largest gulag camps were there, including concentration camps for the Japanese WWII POWs. One such camp was very close to Almaty Lake. When I explained to a taxi driver who took us to the lake, that we also had camps for Japanese in the US, he wasn't surprised. Until he realized I said Japanese AMERICANS. Then he was shocked. Yeah, me too. Kazakhstan is also home to the first and largest space launch facility (where the Soviets launched the first satellite and person into space). So basically Kazakhstan is like Houston or Cape Canaveral.
Lake Almaty itself was beautiful, though some of that beauty was buried under heavy snow. But I can imagine how it looks without the snow. In fact, I don't even have to imagine, you can see it here in a photo that I didn't take.
Great Almaty Lake
How it's supposed to look
The lake is a source of water for the city, and there are exposed pipes running down the hill. While up there, I started to film a submission video for a TV travel show application. I heard about the need for an English speaking host for some travel show, ala Anthony Bourdain, so I submitted a video. I haven't heard back yet, but it's only been 10 months, and I'm sure it just takes time for them to go through all of the applications. I expect a call from Hollywood any day.
It's not easy to be a TV host
Another thing I am waiting for is to be told about the house I might have won. There is a brand of restaurants called Parmagiano, and while I was there, there was a contest in that you would receive a certain number of entries in a drawing every time you spent a certain amount of money at one of the different restaurant brands. If you're reading this, you can come live with me when I win the house. I'll know you read this if you say the password "Stacy's pita chips". Life will be comfortable for you there, not only because there will be at least 10 bedrooms (I assume), but because Almaty has McDonald's, Starbucks and Uber now (my ride from the hotel to the office only cost 30 cents), so it will be just like home.
Maybe this is my new house?
Call an Uber and you can avoid these taxi lines on the side of the road!
Eternal flame
Because it was Thanksgiving, of course that meant a lot of eating. In addition to the modernized Thanksgiving dinner, I actually was able to have a second one. On the next day, Yuliya took me and her young son to the American Chamber of Commerce Thanksgiving celebration. There were a few American families around, but it seemed that most of the guests were local, with some ties to American companies. The sight of 4 roasted turkeys put a huge smile on my face, but unfortunately, there weren't a lot of other traditional Thanksgiving dishes. It was hard to deal with the fact I wouldn't eat any pumpkin pie.
Other local foods I had during the week were a horse t-bone steak (nice), rabbit liver (not nice), a tasty cafeteria dinner with undefined meat, rice, potatoes, salad and bread for only $3 (double nice!), and a couple servings of beshbarmak. The version of beshbarmak that I had was made with sheep meat and noodles, a bowl of broth on the side, and a slice of horse sausage. It was salty and fatty, but had a really nice flavor. I needed some ayran and bread to balance the richness and unclog my arteries. At the restaurant "Gakku", they also had camel and horse milk, sheep lungs and intestines, and something called "sub products", which scared me. I didn't try any of that, but they also had sheep head, so you know it's a legit place. A more "normal" traditional food (from Uzbekistan), are manty dumplings. They were so good that I found an Uzbek restaurant in Warsaw so I could eat them again. Another restaurant I would recommend to a visitor in Almaty is "Kisklak". The beshbarmak there was the best of the places I tried, and they have traditional robes hanging on the wall, which I assume are for customers to wear while eating. Maybe?
Beshbarmak from Kisklak
I hope that photo isn't to show who you are eating
All this talk of intestines and heads is making me hungry. And I'm already looking forward to next Thanksgiving...only 2 months away!
Tbilisi was great. And writing this I can't stop thinking about the food and wine of Georgia... If you haven't been to Georgia, please go!! You can read about Tbilisi here. So here's a little about the rest of the trip...
The first stop after Tbilisi was David Gareja. No, not the French DJ who collaborates with the top hip-hop and pop artists...but that's David Guetta. David Gareja is not even a person. Well, actually he was a person; a saint actually. But these days, David Gareja refers to a 6th century complex of monasteries located near the Azerbaijan border. In addition to the standing churches and chapels in the complex, a short hike up the mountain will reveal a series of caves with centuries-old frescoes. I expected some form of blockades for preservation, but anyone can walk right up to the caves, touch everything, and take a nap or have a picnic.
David Gareja monastery
They might be jumping to Azerbaijan
Frescoed caves everywhere
That night we stayed in a village called Udabno, at a hostel run by some Poles. Everyone was speaking Polish in the middle of the Georgian countryside. There were cows everywhere, and we went on a jog with 5 dogs. They stayed with us the whole time, as we passed through the village, over some hills, past a lake and back. They growled to keep the riff-raff away from us, and they were polite enough to turn their heads when a couple of us had to stop to relieve ourselves in the bushes. One of the 5 was a bit more shy, staying several meters behind the group, but obviously wanting to be included. He was like the new kid at school who lingers around the popular kids, waiting to be invited to join. They were all really sweet until their animal instincts took over. As we passed another small gang of dogs, a couple of "our" dogs brutally attacked another one, who honestly seemed to be minding his own business. Maybe he was paying for a past quarrel, or maybe he whispered something offensive about the bitches in our group. I don't know, but it was tough to see them bite and choke another dog, while we couldn't do anything. We wanted to break up the fight by trying to talk to some reason into our friends, but the barking was louder than our shouting, and I don't think they speak English anyway. I'm not a dog expert, but trying to physically intervene when big angry dogs are viciously attacking each other (not playing) is probably not a good idea. Upon closer examination, most of the dogs had parts of their ears, tails or skin missing. It's the Wild West out there.
Our running buddies
The hostel
That night in Udabno was memorable, in a good way (except for the part when Maciek's snoring shook the whole building). The hostel also had some pretty good food; the bread with meat inside being my favorite. I don't know what it's called, I just ordered "bread with meat inside". The "bread with beans inside" was also very good. The environment in the hostel bar was very relaxing, sitting on the long wooden benches with a beer and the cool summer night air. It created the perfect mood for some fun games. We played one of my favorite card games, Kings, for hours, which led to all of the other hostel guests and visitors to the bar to join in, and Jay and/or Ash pulling down their pants. I'm not sure if the two events were related or not. During a break, Zosia showed a card trick and the entire bar cheered when she correctly guessed Jay's card. It was magical and I'm still kicking myself for not getting it on video!
Bread with meat inside...soft and juicy!
All of this fun was a good distraction for me, considering my heavy heart after mom's passing. But once in a while there was wi-fi and I'd check emails, texts and messages from friends sending condolences from all over the world. It brought me back to reality a bit, which was both good and bad. It made me sad, but also made me realize how amazing it is that so many people care and had nice things to say about my mom. I was getting messages from guys who hadn't seen my mom in 20 years; from high school, from SCAA...everyone wanting to share fond memories. I'm so grateful for all those people and the love I felt from afar. Of course, I felt the love from the guys I was in Georgia with too....they really got me through the difficult time.
The next part of the trip was another highlight for me: the wine. I've always been a fan of wines from Georgia (one of the oldest wine regions in the world, by the way), especially Kindzmarauli. I'd be lying if I said I could remember how to say this word...the reality is that it's my favorite when I drink it, but I never remember how to say it well enough to order it. Generally I prefer the semi-sweet Georgian wines, which taste like juice. During the Soviet Union times, Georgian wine was one of the most popular, but due to poor Georgian-Russian relations, Georgian wine was banned from Russia from 2006 to 2013. During my first trip to Russia, I went to a Georgian restaurant but was surprised when they didn't have any Georgian wine on the menu. Luckily that ban is over now and every time I work in Moscow, I spend at least one dinner in a Georgian place by the Sheraton.
We spent a day in Kakheti, visiting a couple vineyards (Tsinandali and Khareba) and trying lots of different wine. It was similar to visiting Napa Valley, though Napa has a lot more drunk tourists. One of the cool things about Georgian wine is that they age and store it in clay pots (called qvevri...also no idea how to pronounce that), and the leftover solids (skin, pulp, etc) are distilled into the Georgian brandy called chacha (which I know how to both pronounce and drink). I especially liked drinking wine out of the little clay cups.
Wine with this view tastes good
After a night in Signagi (with another dog who liked to run), we spent a good part of the next day driving to Kazbegi, our destination for some hiking. Kazbegi is on the northern part of the country, so we had a long drive from Signagi, which is on the eastern part. Noemi and Maciek were doing a great job of sharing the driving duties. Each of them had their own styles...one of whom caused the passengers to develop sweaty hands. I won't say which one. Maciek definitely enjoyed the bumpy roads, and passing cows and slow trucks. Noemi preferred less adventure. They both helped us arrive safe and sound, and generally we didn't get lost. What else could you ask for?!
Cows and trucks dominate the roads
They even pulled over when I (or I should say "someone in the car") had an emergency situation...some food didn't sit well, and as we were driving through the mountains, "someone" needed a toilet. But where can you find a toilet along the highway in the mountains? So we pulled over, and "someone", let's call him "Tom", ran out. He (or she...it coulda been a girl!) didn't want to be seen by the other passengers in the car or the cars passing by, so he climbed down the pretty steep edge of the road, out of sight. The hill was very steep, so he had to be careful not to go too far, otherwise the hike back up would be difficult. He found a place in the gravel to dig a hole and take care of business...but unfortunately, just like in a slap-stick comedy, the roll of toilet paper succumbed to the law of gravity...and went tumbling down the hill. The toilet paper ROLLED DOWN THE HILL!!! It rolled down in slow motion at first...teasing me, I mean teasing "Tom" as if to say "I'm still almost within reach...come get me"...before falling dramatically at least 300 feet to the bottom. Even though I couldn't actually hear it, I could sense the crashing and echoing sounds in my head. I mean Tom could. Tom was tempted to chase it for a bit, because, as mentioned earlier, he was surrounded by gravel and rocks, meaning no plush leaves or spare rolls of TP laying around. But chasing it would risk falling down the hill himself, with pants around his ankles. Luckily, he managed to find a few small (and I mean SMALL) leaves and a old milk carton buried in the rocks. That would have to do.
On the way to Kazbehi: Zhinvali reservoir
Kazbegi (and Kazbek mountain) was very nice for hiking. The first hike was up to a monastery on top of the mountain. The view from the top was gorgeous. It wasn't that long, but it was a very steep climb. There weren't that many tourists around generally, and most of them seemed to be Russian or Polish. Luckily none of them noticed Tom when he had to take another break amongst the trees and cows to relieve himself. He literally squatted among a group of cows, because he couldn't find any place without cows or people...he figured the cows would be less offended.
Hike up the mountain
Say CHEESE!!
We're SOOO FUNNY!!!!
The next day we did a longer hike, which was more flat, but still as impressive. It passed through a small "village" with just a couple small homes, including what seemed like a nunnery. We met more giant friendly dogs, took some pics and enjoyed a small picnic. Since our friends Andy and Alan were running the length of the Wisla river at that time to promote a clean river bank, we decided to pick up trash along our hike as well. We did pretty well!
Ash needs a WITC shirt
A little picnic in the "village"
Our trash collection...not bad!
On the way back to Kutaisi, we stopped in Uplistsikhe for a short visit. It's literally a town built into the rocks, dating back to 600 BC. It was fascinating to see, but there was not a lot of information posted about what we were looking at. It would be more engaging if there was a description of everything...or maybe we were supposed to hire a guide. Generally I noticed that about Georgia...there are awesome things to see, but it's not developed enough to provide sufficient information so you know what you're looking at. You can also see that they aren't prepared for boatloads of people since the restaurants often don't have everything on the menu (and sometimes not even half of the things on the menu). The waiters don't seem to think it's a problem if they don't have that particular dish...from their perspective the customer should be happy that they have anything at all, and that you should simply eat what they give you. My first reaction to this is somewhat negative, since we are conditioned to expect to receive exactly what we want at a restaurant. However, imagine going to a Georgian family's home for dinner. You don't "order" food - you simply eat what they prepare, and it's probably going to be awesome. So why are we so upset if a restaurant doesn't have our first (or second or third) choice? Anyway, I'd say that Georgia is not yet for the casual tourist. But I absolutely recommend it.
Uplistsikhe
Our flight back was from Kutaisi, so we headed there for one last evening. It was an amazing week and Noemi was especially helpful remembering all the places and people from her previous trip a few years back. I was impressed that she still remembered everything. It's been less than a year since this trip for me (yes, I know this post is super late), but I wouldn't remember all the stuff we did without writing it down.
The question now: What's the next trip that Doremi will organize for us???
April 22, 2017 This is my longest post ever. But maybe my favorite one ever, because it includes great stories from several friends who were involved in the big event. I hope you enjoy! The package arrived at my office in late March, after dad had investigated the shipping costs, along with the related insurance and duty. Ever since I had in my mind to propose to Zosia, there was one specific ring I wanted her to have, and I was thrilled when dad agreed to send it. I opened the package at my desk, hands slightly trembling due to the memories it invoked. I unwrapped the cloth pouch and unfolded the cotton wrap. In my hand was a beautiful diamond ring. My mom's diamond ring. Less than 8 months after she passed away, I could feel her spirit with me. I nearly started crying right there. I wanted to show the girls on my team, but had to take a few minutes to compose myself. After showing them the ring, everything became more real. I was never so excited to ask Zosia if we could spend the rest of our lives together. The Plan It took a while to think of a good plan. I remember my friend Byron asking me about all the different ways he wanted to propose to his now-wife. He had a new idea every week, and I told him not to stress about it, because anything was gonna be awesome. But when it was my turn, I had the same struggle. For some reason I couldn't imagine some sunset stroll capped off with getting on a knee, or proposing at the top of the Eiffel Tower. That seemed too romantic. Asking her while sitting at home in sweat pants, playing Clash of Clans, was somehow more realistic. But of course I couldn't do that. It needed to be unique, memorable and fun, but also one that wouldn't embarrass me when we told the story! Anything involving sweat pants and Clash of Clans would classify as embarrassing. After a couple weeks of contemplation, I decided I'd do it some time between her birthday (April 21) and the end of our triathlon camp in Portugal (May 3). Portugal was romantic after all.... Then one day at work, Monika told me about someone putting an engagement ring into a Kinder Surprise (a chocolate egg with a small toy inside). Zosia loves chocolate, and she loves opening gifts, so this could be a perfect option. But I didn't want to simply give her a chocolate egg and suddenly ask her to marry me. I needed more. After a couple days of brainstorming, everything just clicked. The plan couldn't be more perfect. The timing was right, and she would love it. A few months earlier, we went to Poznan for a weekend and did a scavenger hunt in the city, where we had to decipher clues and venture around different parts of town. We both had a lot of fun, and ever since then, she always checks for city scavenger hunts wherever we go. She even suggested that I create and sell one in Warsaw, since I made one for my birthday party a couple years back. So, I decided to make one, just for her, where each clue would be included inside a Kinder Surprise. The first clue would lead her to the next location, where she'd get the next egg, and so on. Eventually the engagement ring would be inside the final egg. So I performed some surgery on the eggs, taking out the toys and putting in the clues. I also numbered the eggs to make sure they didn't get mixed up, and kept a rubber band around them until the quest started to keep them from falling apart.
Zosia's prize for completing the quest
I wasn't sure how to hide eggs around the city so no one else would take them, especially one with such valuable contents. So, the next part of the idea materialized: to involve her friends, her mom and her brother. Each person would be the guardian of an egg, and would give the egg to Zosia if she found them and completed a certain challenge. Because different people were involved, it now made sense for me to wait with the final egg, rather than going on the quest with her. So the next question was how to get Zosia to do the scavenger hunt without me. That meant involving her "Fairy Godmother", Patrizia, who played FGM to Zosia's character in a skit we did recently for Ken and Marta's wedding (Zosia played Marta, while Patrizia was the FGM, helping her on her quest for love). Patrizia was also perfect because she is a great photographer, and Zosia would not think twice about Pat taking photos along the way - THANKS PATRIZIA FOR THE PHOTOS!!! Iza, Alan, Andy, Dorota, and Noemi also generously agreed to help in any way possible, and I explained the plan only a few days before the big day. I didn't want to risk the surprise being leaked. I didn't even tell Zosia's brother and mom my intention; I simply asked them to meet me before the quest, and I would explain. It was really hard not to tell people - I obviously wanted it to be a surprise, but I also wanted to tell the world. The Set-up Now that the plan was in place, I needed a way to set it up. How could I start her on her journey? On Zosia's birthday (April 21st), we stopped by a shop and I casually purchased a Kinder Surprise egg. Of course, her choco-radar noticed it, so I knew she would inevitably ask me for a bite. When she wasn't looking, I hid the new egg in my bag and pulled out the one in which I had already put the first clue the day before; so now I was holding Fixed Egg #1. Her inability to resist chocolate played perfectly into my hands, and within 3 seconds, she asked for some. I gave it to her, and she told me how much it reminded me of her childhood. She devoured half of it without breathing, almost eating the capsule which held the clue.
Please try not to eat the plastic...
She was a bit disappointed not to find a toy, so she read the paper, which wished her a happy birthday. It told her to show up the next day at a specified time and location, and this totally confused her. She couldn't understand how the Kinder egg knew it was her birthday! I knew her reaction would be priceless, so I filmed it.
Part 1: Zosia explains how Kinder Surprises bring her back to childhood
Part 2: Zosia opens the egg and confusion ensues
Part 3: Zosia tries to explain it to Ken
Part 4: Still trying to wrap her head around it
That evening, we played mini-golf with a few friends for her birthday, and she was still confused. She told the story to everyone and eventually became convinced that there might be some Kinder flash mob or commercial being filmed the next day, and that she was invited (and it only included people with birthdays on the previous day, and who could read English - sorry for those little Polish kids who didn't get a toy and instead got some paper in a language they couldn't read!). She spent some time that night Googling "Kinder Surprise commercial in Warsaw" but didn't find anything. Ironically she found a video on how to open chocolate eggs and to re-seal them using a lighter to melt the chocolate so the pieces stick back together. I wish I'd thought of that!
The next morning (April 22nd - I'm writing it here so I don't forget), I checked that everything was in place; at the bar where I'd give her the final egg, at the restaurant where we'd have the after party (where her surprise birthday party had already been planned), that Zosia was ready to be in a Kinder commercial, and that our guest from London was on her way. Our dear Iza, who just moved to London, flew back to Warsaw for the day to share the moment with us. Her involvement, along with all the others, made this day one that we'll cherish forever.
The Quest
Everyone met me in Karmnik about an hour before Zosia was meant to start her scavenger hunt. They helped to keep me relaxed with small talk, hugs, and a couple drinks, while we went over the plan. Everyone was so willing to play their parts, even those who had to dress in some attention-grabbing costumes. Doremi suggested a change to my original plan, which made it even better. These girls always have creative ideas!
This was also the time to tell Zosia's mom and brother why I asked them to come. Until this moment, they thought they were helping plan Zosia's surprise birthday party later that day. So I explained to them in mixed English-Polish, that I wanted to ask Zosia to marry me. Her mom paused for a few seconds, so I wasn't sure if I had said the right thing in Polish! Tomek asked her if she understood, she nodded and a tear appeared in her eye. I had to assume it was a tear of happiness, otherwise the hug that I gave her would have been really awkward. I honestly think that was the hardest part of the night. Of course, I knew they would be supportive and happy, but I can't explain how relieved I was to finally tell them.
The rest of the story is quite long, and since I was not with Zosia during the quest, I asked the team involved to write a few words.
There's no commercial...
Zosia went to the meeting spot, which was written in the egg she received the previous day, and Patrizia intercepted her in her Fairy Godmother costume. She gave Zosia the news that there was no commercial, but that I was missing, and they had to find me.
The quest begins...and Zosia's mouth is full of chocolate
Patrizia: "17.20, in from of the Presidential Palace. Ok, she is supposed to come at 17.30. Shall I wear already the wig or wait? How will this armed guard just nearby me react to a nice lady (me) dressed like a silver fairy godmother, taking out of the purse a white wig and wear it in front of the Presidential Palace? Uh. Well let's try. Cannot risk Zosia sees me without it. So I take out the wig and when I bend the head to wear it, I cross the eyes of the astonished soldier. Ok, ok. So let's take a step back and explain. "Poczekam na koleżanka. One bierze ślub". Technically speaking it's not correct, she will say YES (or NO) only in an hour or so... but this seems a door opening, the guy relaxes, decides I am not dangerous (well, mistake, man!) and leaves me alone.Lessons learned from the 10-15 minutes I was standing in front of the Presidential Palace waiting for Zosia dressed as a fairy godmother.... no one seemed to notice. Dorota-Mermaid and her splendid dress-undress had a bigger success in the Old Market Square. Tristan, let's talk about how you give roles next time you get engaged. Ah sorry, fair enough, no next time 😉
Well, anyhow, I am there, Zosia comes and finally sees me. Her eyes blank out. This must be her neurons making the effort of connecting dots and not managing. She tells me it's like this since yesterday, she does not know what's going on, it's like a dream, and there was a kinder egg, and it was empty, and now again, another egg and it's empty, another message... big, big excitement!!!
Aaaahhhhh.... this will be fun, I think. Staying with Zosia all the time today and being exposed to such an enormous dose of genuine surprise and vivid curiosity and unarmed happiness will be a resource of energy for the months to come 🙂
And so it was. Stay tuned and read how it goes on..."
Look for Tristan in his favorite bar
The next clue told her that I was missing, and she should look for me in my favorite bar. Of course, she knows that it's Głębokie Gardło, where I have my name on a plaque on the wall. It's also the place where she first met Iza. So it was fitting to have Iza waiting there with the next egg.
Iza: "When Trizzie messaged me revealing what the super secret plan for the already secret party was I got my flights straight away. Got to the secret meeting location for the super secret within the secret party straight from the airport and (knowing all the even more secret details) got myself prepared for a complete spontaneous emotional disintegration of Zosia.
I think she had already realized she was not taking part in the Kinder Surprise advert by the time she got to GG, which was the first checkpoint on her treasure hunt. I had taken a strategic spot at one of the high tables, my back facing the door (just to make it a bit trickier, sorry Z😉 ) and my face facing the glass wall so giving me a nice cheeky peak at who was walking in. So me , 3 shots wisniowka (1 for Z, one for the Fairy Godmother Patrizia and one for myself) and a kinder surprise with further directions were patiently waiting for the girls to show up. I saw them walking in. Z sat right behind me and then I heard “This girl looks like Iza form behind!” (though I am not sure if this was Z making this comment or Patrizia giving Z hints). Also not sure how the kinder surprise in a shot glass did not give me away. Think Z was still a little confused about what was actually going on. Anyways, after giggling to myself for a good minute Z (with some serious hints from Patrizia) finally realized it was me and not my look-alike sitting at that table. That was it. Complete spontaneous emotional disintegration of Z number 1 of the eve (I believe) and poor thing had no idea what was yet to come. After a lot of “OhMyGodWhatAreYouDoingHereYouAreInLondon” (just imagine it said on one breath, real fast, and in an overly excited high pitch voice) and some serious hugs, taken by this surprise, Z did not even object taking a whole shot of wisniowka. And off she was, looking for a mighty warrior near the castle who was supposed to help her find Trizzie."
Shocked to see Iza!
After a shot and another chocolate egg...
Defeat the mighty warrior
That mighty warrior is Andy. Andy and I have run with a charity organization called "Spartanie Dzieciom", when we dress like spartans and do various running races. So, Andy already had the outfit. He waited in front of the Warsaw castle, with tourists wondering if he was going to put on some kind of show. To help reduce his level of shame, he wore sunglasses under his helmet, because that's what hip spartans do. Once found, Zosia had to defeat him in a sword fight, and if so, she'd get the next egg.
Andy: "Standing outside the royal castle in Warsaw's old town I was still recovering from a cold, but warmed up by a couple of whisky cocktails and ready for my battle with the fair princess Zosienka.The spartan uniform of cape, helmet, shield, crotch, shin and forearm guards didn't provide much cover and certainly got a lot of attention in the old town square.
I am kind of shy and standing bare chested with a red cape in the middle of the most visited site of Warsaw at 6pm on a Saturday is not a place to shy away from strangers. At the same time there is no way on earth I was going to miss the chance to be a part of Tristan and Zosia's romantic chocolate themed treasure hunt. Also, Tristan promised me that if I beat Zosia in a stick fight I'd get to keep the diamond ring.
After what seemed like forever, but was probably 10 minutes, Zosia and her Italian fairy godmother turned up looking for a warrior to help. But she didn't recognize me at first, because of my superhuman physique, or maybe because I was wearing sunglasses under my helmet. I offered to give her more information on the condition that she beat me in a battle.
Zosia seemed more than just a little confused by this time and I'm not sure if she didn't really want to win, she had no idea what was going on, or just being Zosia didn't want to harm a fly ... or a mighty Spartan warrior like me. Despite putting down some of my best street fighting moves, she defeated me and got the next clue leading her to a Pizza Hut across the road.
I walked them over for the next challenge then went to meet the rest of team "Let's Get Tristan And Zosia Engaged" ("Leg Tazer", as I secretly called us).
On the way over I was mocked and pointed at. One child actually booed me and gave me the thumbs down. He told me in Polish "Spartans didn't wear glasses". Maybe the sunglasses were unnecessary after all, but I didn't care. I was just happy to have been able to take part in the coolest engagement of the sweetest couple."
After she realizes it's Andy
Epic battle - with a tourist taking photos
Pizza my heart
Alan was waiting in Pizza Hut, the restaurant to which I agreed with Zosia I would go with her once and only once in my life. She still hasn't redeemed this once in a lifetime offer, so I thought she'd appreciate one extra trip there. Plus, Alan and Zosia have a history of devouring giant pizzas after our Thursday fitness training, so a pizza eating competition was Z's next challenge. On this day, she'd be able to savagely eat some Pizza Hut and still have one trip left for later.
Alan: "My part in this story involved something that both Zosia and I get really excited about - food! Or more specifically, eating pizza 🙂 I went to Pizza Hut in the old town and waited for Zosia. The biggest challenge for me was to make sure that the pizza arrived in time for when Zosia showed up. Once I heard from Iza that Zosia had made it to the second point on her quest, I ordered the best pizza I could find on the menu, prosciutto and rucola on a thin Italian base - mmmm. Now I just had to wait...
Really soon (too soon) after that, I heard she'd defeated Andy the Spartan in battle and was just a few hundred metres away. But the pizza still wasn't there... A few minutes later Zosia shows up with her fairy godmother Patrizia, and goes "Alan, what are you doing here?!?". She was so confused and happy it was adorable. She sat down (still no pizza...) and explained chaotically what had been happening, that she'd seen Iza, there was supposed to be a commercial, said "what's going on??!!?" a few times and then that she can't find Tristan. At this point the pizza finally (to me it seemed to take forever) showed up. So I told her if she wants to find out where Tris is, she has to beat me in a pizza eating contest! We both took our slices, counted down and attacked the food!! Before I could really get started Zosia had managed to stuff the whole thing into her mouth and was grinning 🙂
Disappointed to lose, but happy for Zosia, I gave her the next clue, we exchanged half of a kinder egg for a slice of pizza, and off she went, leaving me with the rest of the pizza 🙂"
Probably Zosia's favorite challenge of the day
After giving Alan his first defeat in a food competition, they read the next clue
The Little Mermaid
The next stop was to seek help from the symbol of Warsaw - the mermaid. There is a statue of the mermaid in the Old Town square, which is where she headed, but to her surprise, she encountered a fisherman (Noemi). I have to give a lot of credit to the girls for their creativity with the situation and the costumes (and according to tradition, Noemi bought a full-on costume, which she returned to Decathlon the next day).
Dorota: "Doremi aka the Fisherwoman (Noemi) and Mermaid (Dorota) were waiting for Zosia at the main square of the Old Town where the famous Mermaid of Warsaw sculpture is located. At first they didn't get that much attention despite the flashing pink tail of the Mermaid and a huge net that the Fisherwoman was carrying. It's probably because the Mermaid's boobs were still hidden under a jacket. But that was soon to change... When Doremi got info from Alan that Zosia was on her way all the fun began! Doremi separated. The Fisherwoman started walking around the area where Zosia was about to appear from. With her oversized fisherman outfit and rain boots (and I mean REAAALLY oversized) and a huge net, she looked hilarious! To make it even funnier she started screaming "net for a mermaid, net for a mermaid, only 5 zloty"! Yep, she really did. People were smiling and laughing,some Spanish tourists approached her and she explained to them what was exactly happening. They were really impressed to hear that it was all part of an engagement scavenger hunt! When Zosia and the Fairy Godmother showed up they obviously couldn't stop laughing too, but the Fisherwoman explained to Zosia in a very serious voice that her task is now to catch the Mermaid in the net... but make sure it's a live mermaid so that she wouldn't start harassing this very important sculpture (wouldn't be cool if she got arrested on her bday). Zosia was very concerned and said: "but mermaids don't exist ANY MORE"! But after a few moments she noticed a pink, flashing and very alive mermaid sitting on the bench in the corner of the square. By that time the Mermaid was already fully prepared: jacket off (ouch -cold), breasts out, funny pose! Noises all around, screaming, laughing, clapping hands... butthe Mermaid didn't pay attention to any of that as she was already in a survival mode - Zosia was approaching with a huge net! The Mermaid started running (I mean swimming) around the square, there was applause and even more laughter but wait... why was Zosia not running after the Mermaid? Yep, there she was bent in half and laughing too! The Fisherwoman and the Fairy Godmother had to push her a little to actually try and catch the Mermaid who by that time almost did a 5k run with lots of cheering around! But finally she was inside the net!Doremi didn't want to let Zosia leave that easily though - after lots of hugs and kisses she got a question to answer about where she met Doremi. Of course that was Crossfit class so Zosia's last task was to do some sqauts, lunges and jumping jacks before she could get another egg that led her to the next station."
Meeting the fisherman, while still holding some pizza
Chasing the mermaid!
Got her!
We're going to the cinema
The next egg led her to my old apartment, where another surprise awaited: her mom, her brother, Tomek, and Tomek's girlfriend Weronika. They had told Zosia they were going to a movie, so Zosia was doubly confused. Her mom played the role perfectly, saying that it was true, that it was nice to see her, but they had to go or they'd be late. But first they gave the final clue, which led Zosia to the place where she and I first met.
Tomek: "Zosia was very surprised. She didn't even notice the paper ring in the last Kinder egg before she met Tristan in Karmnik. She said to me: "What you doing here?" and after she saw our mum and Weronika, she was shocked but happy. We told her we were going to the cinema so we had to go.She surprisingly only ate half of the chocolate egg!"
Tomek on his way to a movie
Her mom helping with the next clue
Where we first met
As all of this was happening, I simply waited in Karmnik for Zosia to finish. Each person posted updates on where Zosia was, with photos, and I was so happy that I shed some tears. Crying, sitting alone in a bar...it was probably not a good sight. I was happy that Zosia seemed to be having an amazing time with the quest, happy that we could share it with our friends, and for the moments to come. In a couple hours there was going to be a surprise birthday party for her at Jack's Cinema, but none of the guests knew what was happening...so I posted a photo and explained that hopefully the birthday party would turn into more than that. I was so excited that I had to wipe more tears from my face. Their supportive reaction and comments to my post only made me happier.
When Zosia arrived, I was ready. Kind of. I had rehearsed the words a dozen times, but I wasn't sure how to get down on one knee. We had an elevated table in the window, which is where we sat together on our first date, but it wasn't convenient to get down on one knee! I had to awkwardly jump down to the floor, and ask her to get down as well, otherwise I wouldn't be able to reach her. I practiced a few times, and it wasn't smooth at all. Plus, was I supposed to hold the ring in my hand when I ask? Or put it on her finger? Or just hold her hand while she holds the ring? I should have paid more attention in those dumb romantic comedy films. Before I could Google the protocol, she ran into the bar, spotted me and started telling me everything that she had seen in the last hour. "Iza was here! We have to go back to Glebokie Gardlo! And there was Andy, we were fighting, and I ate pizza with Alan, actually two pieces! And Dorota is almost NAKED in the square! And my mom and Tomek are here, and....WHAT IS GOING ON!!??" This was all without taking a breath.
If it's awkward to hug someone when they're in this elevated seat - it will be awkward to get down on one knee!
I asked her to sit at the table with me, and in typical Zosia fashion, she was thinking about Patrizia. There wasn't a seat for Patrizia, and Zosia was worried! Patrizia didn't want to sit, so she could take some photos, but I couldn't exactly tell Zosia "I'm about to propose, so Patrizia can't sit with us". She spent a few minutes telling me about the quest, and all the chocolate she ate, and that she wanted everyone to be together right now. I gave her all of the small toys that were replaced by clues in the eggs she had already found, and she was happy to finally have them. I thought it was the right time to give her the final egg. Since she had already found me, there were no more "clues" or challenges. So I offered to give her the final egg in exchange for the small toys that were in the previous eggs. But even though the final egg was bigger than the others, she said "NO, I want to keep the toys!" Uh oh. She looked at the big egg longingly, and I could tell she was considering some negotiation tactics. She was willing to give 3 of the toys in exchange for the big egg, and I agreed. She grabbed the egg, shook it violently like it was a martini, expecting to hear the toy inside. I gripped the table in trepidation, knowing the ring WAS packaged nicely in that egg, but not sure what was happening to it in that moment, trying to keep a smile on my face. She finally opened it, but the bunny who was holding the ring was flipped upside down, so he wasn't dramatically presenting the ring like I had planned.
Some serious negotiations...
Shaking the last egg
The final prize
It took a moment before she realized what it was. When I told her it was my mom's ring, she couldn't keep the tears in. I tried to keep my composure as well, and told a small joke. It was time to get down on my knee. I jumped down, asked her to stand next to me, and asked the question. I don't remember exactly what I said, and I don't even know if she ever said "yes", but everyone in the bar started clapping, she hugged and kissed me, and I guess that meant we're engaged!! I couldn't have been happier. The bartender sent us glasses of champagne to celebrate. The same bartender we had on that first day.
Finally realizing what is happening
Not so awkward after all
Within 2 minutes of saying "yes," she is eating a smore
The others were waiting in the bar next door, so I messaged them to come over, and we celebrated with more drinks (Jay sent a bottle of bubbly from London), shared some laughs and hugs, and took a few photos.
Hugs for the family
Some bubbly from Jay
Showing off the ring
I'm forever grateful to these guys
Zosia didn't know, but we still had to head over to the "official" birthday party. She thought we were just going for some dinner at Jack's Cinema, but when 20 people jumped out from the behind the curtains, she freaked out for the 10th time that day. It was the final surprise on an amazing day, and looking at her smile, I knew I would be happy for the rest of my life.
