What's my name again?

I'm not sure if this counts as an identity crisis, but it's possible.

I've found out that even though my name is Tristan, it's not really what Polish people say when using it in a sentence.

I've discovered at least 7 varieties of my name that are grammatically correct....and they aren't nicknames. These are actual words that if a Polish person were to use my name in a sentence, they would say it like this without even thinking about it. Like they have to say it like this. Their mouth won't let them say otherwise. It's like trying to say "Hippopotamus" but "Hip Hop Omomous" comes out every time. They just can't help it.

Here are my names, in no particular order:

(Disclaimer: I am obviously still learning Polish grammar, so I cannot say this is 100% accurate...but I promise nothing is exaggerated!).

Tristan - It's the name I was given. You may know me by this name. But apparently they don't.
Tristana - My least favorite of the options. It sounds ilke a girl's name. I went through enough growing up with people calling me "Kristin" all the time (either on accident or on purpose). I don't need that here too. They would use this to say (in Polish of course) "I like Tristana" (No, apparently you DON'T, if that's what you call me), "That is not Tristana" (Which is a true statement), or "That book belongs to Tristana" (Who? That girl over there?).
Tristanem - This is a bit more masculine. Almost like King Arthur's knight Tristram. You would use this to say "I am with Tristanem". Knight of the Round Table.  But still, it's not me.
Tristanie - Almost as bad as when my co-workers in Seattle called me "Trizzie". Yes, they did. That's the kind of respect I got/get at work. It brings back some nice memories, but I would still prefer a different name here in Poland. If someone were calling out to me on the street, they would yell "Tristanie!!!". But you can bet I won't be answering to that. 
Tristanowi - This is the most interesting of them. This would be used to say "I am looking at Tristanowi". Just as a reminder, in Polish, the 'W' is pronounced like a 'V' in English. If the W in Tristanowi was pronounced like an English W, I would not find this interesting at all. It would sound like you are saying "tristan" but then exclaiming how painful it is to look at me. "I am looking at Tristan-OWWWEEEEEE! MY EYEESSSSS!!!!". But since it's pronounced like a V it sounds a little better. Don't you forget that. And don't be mean to people. 
Tristany and Tristanow are also options; if there were many of me. It would depend on how many of me there were. Confused? Me too. 4 Tristany, but 5 Tristanow. If I was a 5 person band (aka Backstreet Boys) and I lost one of my members on my reunion tour (aka Backstreet Boys), I'd have to change my name from Tristanow to Tristany!  What a hit to the brand!

So now you are wondering a couple things. First, did I make all this up? And the answer is a surprising no. Then you are wondering why??? Why do I have so many varieties of names?

The reason is because of their declension of nouns (aka different "cases"). Every noun has up to 7 varieties (and that's just singular nouns). There's also differences for plural, depending on the number of items, as you saw above (and adjectives change too!). In English we have 2 varieties in total. Well, at least I think we do. If there is one thing I've learned while learning Polish, it's that I don't really understand why we say anything we say in English. I also realize that we are TERRIBLE with our grammar. A native English speaker is probably the worst person to ask about grammar. A Polish co-worker was explaining different verb tenses like present perfect, imperfect, past progressive, etc, and I was so confused. And she was explaining it IN ENGLISH about ENGLISH words! The answer is just that we should just speak like cave men and it'd be so much easier. No wonder it's taking me so long to learn Polish.

In protest, of these cases, I will be forcing all Poles to use only 1 version of a noun in my presense. It will be officially illegal to say any other case besides the normal case. I am nice so I will also allow them to have one (and only one) plural version, for a total of 2 varieties of a noun. If they don't listen, I will accuse them of calling me rude and demeaning names and I will protest in front of the Presidential Palace (it's just down the street from my apartment). If you want to join me in this fight to save mankind and our basic human rights, please join me.

In the meantime, I leave you with this. I think it says enough. 

Easy Bus: My arch nemesis

Did he really just leave me? On purpose?!

I stepped off the bus and bent down to pick up my bag. The next sound I hear is the bus doors closing and the bus driving away. The problem is that I wanted to be ON it. FRICK!!!! I turn around to bang on the door and chase the bus down as it gains speed while pulling away from the curb. The driver ignores me and keeps on driving. I'm pretty sure I hate him.

Let me start by saying this. DO NOT TAKE EASY BUS. They are the bus that takes people to/from the airport to/from the city center in London. It is super convenient, and pretty fairly priced, but they are JERKS! I was going to take the bus from Baker street in Central London to Luton to catch my flight back to Warsaw. The night before I bought a ticket online for the 12:18pm bus. On the website it says I am supposed to print my ticket, but when you are on vacation it's not so easy to find a printer...so I emailed it to myself thinking that they would just accept the ticket on my Blackberry. I mean, why wouldn't they? It has my name, the time and date of the bus I want, and the price I paid for it. What's the difference between this and wasting paper by printing it out? Plus, even airlines take boarding passes on my Blackberry, surely a bus driver will.

Actually, surely he wont. It's true that the ticket says "you must have a printed ticket, or you may be denied entrance on to the bus". But I read "MAY" to mean that the driver has discretion and if you have other proof of purchase, he could be nice enough to let you on. I mean, it's not like I had no proof of purchase. It's NOT like I told him "Hey, I bought a ticket last night. I have no way of proving it, but just trust me, I did it. I'll mail you my receipt when I get home." Come on people, I had proof.

He rudely denied me when I showed him the ticket on my phone, as if he had never seen a smart phone before and didn't trust the technology. He berated me to make me feel like an idiot and said "If you could read the website you'd know that you need a printed ticket". I almost slapped him. I know what it says, asshole, I am just explaining to you my situation, and if you had a decent bone in your body you'd accept the ticket that I am showing you...with my name, date of the bus, the time, and the amount I paid. It looked EXACTLY like a printed ticket, because it IS the ticket that I would have printed. It's just not made of paper. Why can't you take it? You don't even collect the tickets from people, you just look at them anyway!

He stands his ground, says no, and says "you can't ride" and looks at me as if to say "Get off the bus." What an effing jerk. I mean think about it. I am getting on a bus to go to the airport. Which probably means I have a plane to catch. So that probably means I want to go there, and maybe you can help me think of a way to make it happen. I mean, you are a bus driver. And you are going to the airport. So instead of "you can't ride" how about "I'm really sorry, but I can't accept the ticket on your Blackberry because the policy says you need to have a printed one...but if you want to, since we are idiots and we don't understand technology, you can buy a paper ticket from me". It sucks to have to buy another ticket, but if he isn't going to accept the one on the BB, what choice do I have?

So I say "Here's an idea...can I just buy another ticket from you?" He has a look of "Oh, that could work, I never thought of that...I just thought you would get off the bus and decide you don't really need to go to the airport because I'm mean and stupid." So I said I'd buy one and asked how much it is. "16 pounds". I have exactly 16 pounds and 7 pence in my pocket. I'm in luck (I actually don't like coming home with just a few dollars worth of foreign currency, so I try to spend it all before I come back. It isn't the ideal way to spend the money, but it was a nice coincidence I had exactly 16 pounds in my pocket and I wouldn't have to bring home just a few bucks). So I say "Ok, I will buy a ticket (I have the money in my hand), but I just need to grab my bag".

Ok, I know you are thinking. "Why did you leave your bag outside of the bus?". I will tell you why. It's because the bus said "Greenline" on it, even though it was at the Easy Bus stop. So I wasn't sure if it was the right one. I went aboard to ask him if it was the right bus, and left my bag outside so I didn't have to carry back and forth in case it was the wrong one. Plus the bags go under the bus anyway, so I didn't think I needed to bring it on. I thought he'd get off the bus to put my bag in the compartment underneath, like a nice normal bus driver.

I step off the bus to grab my bag and as I bend down the next sound I hear is the bus doors closing and the bus driving away. I turn around in a panic, bang on the door, yell at him, chase it down the street a little and finally give up, PISSED OFF like never before. I got duped by a mean idiot bus driver! After a few moments of disbelief, I realize I still need to get to the airport, no matter how mad I am at this guy. A taxi is out of the question because it will cost a fortune. The next bus is coming 20 minutes later...so I look at my watch. And it's 12:17! My bus was supposed to leave this stop at 12:18!!! The frickin' bus driver left me at the curb ON PURPOSE before he was even scheduled to leave!!! ARGHHHHHHHHH. I still get upset just thinking about it.

Eventually the next bus comes, and even though the driver still wouldn't accept my e-ticket, he was nice enough to not leave me behind. He apologized, smiled and offered another ticket for the full price. Normally I would be mad at this, but he was so much nicer and polite than the last driver I actually thanked him. For making me buy a second ticket. I guess it's all relative... The morale of this story is to print your ticket and don't leave your bag outside if you want to ride that bus. And don't take the 12:18pm bus from Baker street to Luton airport.

I emailed customer service the next day and they made it worse. I explained what happened and gave them the opportunity to make it up to me somehow. The easy thing for them to do would be to refund me one of the two tickets I had to buy, if not both. But they kept telling me that I should have known the policy of printing the ticket. Fine, I will do that next time. I already acknowledged that rule (even though it's stupid). But what about the fact that your driver left me chasing after him ON PURPOSE!?!?! Do you do anything to make up for that? "No sir, we will review the situation but the results are confidential". That conversation went back and forth for about 10 messages until finally I gave up.

I asked to speak to someone that could do something about it and she says "I am the customer service manager so I can't pass this on to anyone else. I can only recommend that you print your ticket next time." Really, Jodie Sandiford? IT'S NOT ABOUT PRINTING THE TICKET! IT'S ABOUT THE FACT YOUR DRIVER LEFT ME BEHIND ON PURPOSE!!!!! Is this really how Easy Bus operates? Even just reading her name bothers me now. I mean, Jodie Sandiford. What kind of name is that? (Sorry if your name is Jodie Sandiford, as long as you aren't this Jodie Sandiford). I explained that the way she dealt with me was very poor customer service (especially for a big shot manager) and a poor business decision. It's going to cost her a lot of business from all my friends and family (meaning you). So don't take EASY BUS! Let's show them who's boss!!!! Without our business they will go bankrupt!!!!! Yea, like that will make a difference. And that's why it bothers me so much. Nobody notices. Nobody cares. And nobody will do anything about it.

I'll just try hard to believe in Karma.

Foggy London Town

I'm happy I live in Warsaw.

That was my first thought as I returned from my trip to London last weekend. I kept thinking "I'm really glad I'm in Warsaw". Don't get me wrong. London is a great city with lots of culture, things to do, and it seems like everyone I know is moving there, but there is something about it that says "visit me, but don't live here". I thought about moving to London rather than to Poland, but this trip helped me realize I made the right decision for me. Plus everyone there talks so funny they are harder to understand than Polish people (when the Polish people are speaking Polish).

My other thought when I was returning was: "I can't believe that bus driver just left me on the curb on purpose and ignored me as I banged on the door and chased him down the street". More on that in the next entry.

I have been to London a couple times, so I didn't feel the need to be a tourist this time. The primary point of my trip was to visit some friends, and to eat some Korean food. That's right. Korean food. London isn't known for food, but at least they have Korean food there. I'm not saying that it's the best ever (it's not), but at least they have it. In Warsaw I think the only Korean food is at the homes of the guys who work at the Samsung research center in my building. (Speaking of which, I should make friends with them since they probably make awesome bulgogi).

Before I arrived I had all my meals planned out, but not much else about the trip. I didn't know what I would see or do...just what I wanted to eat. Lunch at an English pub, Turkish dinner with my old (and I really mean old) Seattle friend Darin, then Dim Sum with the San Jose crew the next day and a Korean dinner with Mike, Patty and Andrea. What else is there?

I took the 6am Wizz Air flight out and let me tell you how much fun that is. Ready? There. I'm done telling you. That's as much fun it is: none. The morning of the flight, my cab was late (4:35 instead of 4:15am). I was getting annoyed so I went outside so I could be ready for him. Then I realized why he was late. The entire street was an Ice Rink! All the snow had melted and re-froze overnight. I could not even walk because there was a layer of ice so thick I couldn't even see the brick underneath. I had to "skate" over to the intersection where I was supposed to meet him, and we all know that I HATE ICE SKATING. Ugh. I manage to stay on my feet and get to the corner, where I see a taxi going about 2 miles/hour (approx. 3 km/hour if you are converting at home), fishtailing like he actually was a fish. I get in, he is swearing under his breath about something unpleasant, and we speed off, at about 4 mph. It took ages to get to the airport and I got there just in time for the flight. Wizz Air has open seating, but luckily there weren't that many crazy/stupid people taking the 6am flight, so I got a good seat. Or maybe they were still driving their Zambonis trying to get there.

When I arrived in the city I met up with Jess (a friend from the US), who took the day off to hang out with me. We ended up going to the Churchill War Rooms, which taught me a lot about what happened in England during WWII. Honestly, I didn't know anything happened in London during the war (besides cricket and tea time), but apparently they were getting bombed by the Germans daily. The War Rooms were a big headquarters underground, where the high ranking military Brits could spend 24 hours a day, working, sleeping, eating, and having bad teeth. Obviously Churchill was there too, and this is where he made all of his decisions on how to fight the war. The museum showed off most of the authentic rooms, maps, and other things that were used during the war, and had a lot of information about Churchill, who seemed to be one tough hombre. But also very beloved. Is it just me, or do Americans not learn too much about English history growing up? Or more likely I just didn't pay attention. To me English history is Robin Hood and Men in Tights. I think the reason is that in every movie based outside the US in the old days, everyone has English accents. Even if they are Italian or Egyptian. But in WWII movies, everyone is German. Anyway, it was an interesting place and I'd definitely recommend it.

Workers busily answer phones and plot map coordinates in the War Room:

Since the people in the War Rooms didn't really go outside and there was always a threat of bombing, they used this sign to tell what the weather was like out there.  I will be the first to tell you that the sign was lying. 

Jess and I then went for some pub lunch, where I ordered what was supposed to be a Sunday Roast (meat, potatoes, veggies, and Yorkshire pudding)...but since it was a Friday I think they made it not taste as good. True to English cuisine reputation, the meat was a bit overcooked and the sauce was bland. But it was still decent overall. Afterwards, I was already looking forward to dinner.

Meeting Darin and his wife for a Turkish dinner at Lara was nice. Except I realized how lucky I am to live in a city (Warsaw) that has only 1 subway line. You can't get lost. And you don't have to transfer. And you don't have to sit there for 45 minutes waiting in subway "traffic". On that trip I hit the annoying-subway trifecta. But the dinner was great, and it was great to see them...it's hard to believe that it's been nearly 10 years since we worked together back in Seattle, and over 5 years since we were in South Africa together.

The next day I got to meet some of the old San Jose crew for Dim Sum. The food was great, but it was really great to see all the guys I used to work 10 feet from in San Jose. It's funny how they all ended up in London over the last few months. Here we are after lunch (me, Trish, Francis, EJ, Paul, and Jil)...it was so nice to hang out that we ended up walking around together, going to a pub, then going to dinner together as well.

Korean dinner was also pretty not bad. Again, food in London isn't the best, but they have some things that are different that I was craving. The restaurant, called Koba, had two very impressive features: twisty straws and magical towels. If you don't believe me, you will have to go there yourself.

The twisty straws require no explanation (yes, they give you TWO!). But the towels were magical. And here's why. They come out as little tablets on a plate...then with a little hot water, some magic words and a wave of a wand, they expand into hand towels for refreshing yourself. So cool! The waiter even gave me a couple to take home because he could see how amazed I was. For some reason nobody else seemed to care as much about them as I did, including the little kids at the next table...who also didn't seem too impressed with their twisty straws. I'm not sure what that says about me... Anyway, I am nervous about when to use my magic towels because I don't have a good wand.

Later that night I was being anti-social while I kept checking the Seahawks/Saints score on my phone. What a great game and I was so sad to miss it! Patty even showed me how to watch Slingbox on my Blackberry, which was pretty awesome. I need to get a Slingbox set up somewhere!

I forgot to mention that Conway didn't have a working shower while I was there....apparently their shower has been out of operation for 1.5 months! I mean, what kind of landlord doesn't fix that? It's not like they are in some squatter town...she lives in the center of the city! So I showered at her friend's house, who was also nice enough to cook us breakfast, and show me highlights of the Seahawks game...especially Marshawn Lynch's amazing run. He's Swedish, so it surprised me that he even cared. When he asked "did you watch the football" I assumed he meant some obscure soccer match.

I hope you can tell that I really enjoyed my trip...mostly because I got to see a bunch of friends and just hang out. But I am definitely happy to be back in good ol' Warsaw, where the showers work and the local food is half the price (and arguably twice as good). There are still a few people I didn't get to see on my trip, but I'm sure I will be back soon (at least for the 2012 Olympics!).

ps. My next entry will be about my bus ride back to the London airport. In short: whatever you do, don't take Easy Bus. Thank you.

Christmas in Riga

My latest adventure was to a place that 2 months ago, I never would have thought to visit. But I'm definitely glad I did. My friend Irina lives in Warsaw, but is from Riga, Latvia, and she invited a couple of us to visit her family and city for a few days over Christmas.



Riga is the capital of Latvia, one of the three Baltic countries (the others being Estonia and Lithuania).  It's located on the Baltic Sea, just across from Sweden.  In case you were wondering (for example, if you're a nerd), it's part of the EU, but not yet on the Euro. 



It officially became a country after WWI after declaring independence from Russia.  Like many in the area, it has become independent a couple times after being under German occupation during WWII and then under the Soviets up until 1991.  Because it is so close to Russia and has been occupied by Russia for so long, about half of the city is Russian, and most everyone speaks Russian and Latvian interchangably.  Alena is Russian and she could talk to anyone there...I was impressed that pretty much every young-ish person in Riga can speak Russian, Latvian, and English pretty fluently.  I can barely speak English fluently!  At one point a waitress spoke to Irina in Latvian, then took Alena's order in Russian, then mine in English.  One right after the other.  It's no big deal to them, but impressive to me.  We Americans are so lame when it comes to languages. 

We spent a lot of time walking around the Old Town, exploring the streets, blanketed in white, lined by snow drifts, and scattered with black ice...here are some shots of the area.  The buildings look so old and fake, but I've been told they are in fact real. 





As is a custom in many places in the region, upon getting married, couples like to attach a padlock with their names engraved onto bridges, symbolizing their commitment.  Apparently they get cut off after just a little while because the bridges get so packed with them.  Hopefully that part doesn't symbolize anything.



We found the PwC office (Alena works with me in the Warsaw PwC office), complete with the new branding.  We aren't supposed to say "PricewaterhouseCoopers" anymore.  It's just PwC. Now when I say "PwC", people ask "what does that stand for?" and I say "PricewaterhouseCoopers" and they say "oh yea, why didn't you just say that in the first place?".  Argh.



Of course, we spent a LOT of time eating.  The food there is slightly different from food in Poland, but the basic ideas are the same: meats, potatoes, cabbage, and more meat. Not as many sausages though, which can be a good thing, depending on your perspective.

This is a donut-like pastry filled with some really juicy meat inside.  I don't know how to describe it other than like xiao long bao inside a pastry instead of a dumpling (with a little less juice).  I could have eaten a million of them!  Irina keeps reminding me what they are called, but I keep forgetting.  Maybe Latvian xiao long bao?
 


This was also very tasty...grilled pork chop...you know the kind where you can actually taste the BBQ grill flavor in it....so good.  Oh I love BBQ!!



We went to a cafeteria-style restaurant called Lido that served all kinds of meats like this.  It was seriously heaven.  Like a Vegas buffet with 1,000 different meats staring you in the face (or like zoo, when you think about it). I walked around for 20 minutes trying to decide what to get because they were all so tempting. Lido also has a recreation area outside, and live music and bar inside.  They even had Tom and Jerry on TV, which is definitely a sign of a classy joint.  I stopped to watch for a while.  An older lady also grabbed me to dance with her, but I was too busy with T & J, and my food. Plus she kinda scared me. When I say "older" she was probably like 38, which I guess isn't that much older...dangit. 



Lots happening here: crepe, salads, pork kebab, grey peas, cabbage, potatoes. 



I forgot to mention what we had for Christmas eve dinner.  Irina's parents were nice enough to have us over.  It's interesting that in the region it seems that Christmas eve is more of a holiday thas Christmas day. Here's some of the food her mom made us:



On the left it is a beet and herring salad (not something you see every day in the US).  It tasted better than I expected, but the herring was a little too fishy for me (I kept thinking of going salmon fishing with grandma and how we used herring for bait, and it just reeked of the ocean).  On the right was the best smoked chicken I ever had.  I almost got full off of it, and it was only an appetizer. 



This is basically thick bacon (which I think is raw, but I try not to think about it) on bread.  In order to eat it, everyone needed a shot of vodka.  Makes sense, right?  After trying all these things, I definitely wasn't saying no to vodka. 



I don't know if it was because it was Christmas eve, but even after the bacon thing, Irina's dad made me take a bunch more vodka shots with him during dinner.  Every 10 minutes or so, he'd pour a shot for him, look at me, grin and say something in Russian that everyone would laugh at, then pour one for me (and only me)...sometimes Irina's Grandma would interrupt "where's mine!?" in not-English because she wanted some too.  One time he only poured me a half a shot, because apparently he didn't know if I could handle it.  How nice of him.

After the shots, the parents thought it would be a good idea to get me to drink this "special" drink.  It is cabbage juice and is supposed to work wonders for a hangover.  I plugged my nose (necessarily) and gulped it down.  It tasted like the juices from a bowl of sauerkraut.  And guess what?  It IS the juices from a bowl of sauerkraut.  But I didn't get a hangover all weekend, so it must have worked. 



The next day we went to the resort town of Jurmala.  It's located on the Gulf of Riga in the Baltic Sea.  Behind me, you can see the sea actually freezing.  It is very odd to see the sea, along with snow and ice, rather than sand.  Nearby, kids made snow castles and went boogey boarding.  Actually, that's a lie. 




A lot of people here have memories of being pulled around on a little sled, like this kid, when they were young.  I want to be pulled on a sled please!



I also went horse riding with my friend Liga, whom I know from PwC (aka PricewaterhouseCoopers).  She lives in Riga and goes horse riding a couple times a week and told me that riding in the forest during the Winter is like being in a movie or a fairy tale (you know, the way only a girl would describe it).  It really was very peaceful and beautiful out there...especially when we went through the undisturbed powder. 




It may look like I am about to be tossed off into the forest, but surprisingly I didn't do too bad.  Not great, but successful because a) I didn't fall off or get left behind,  b) I didn't cry when we started trotting, c) I could walk afterwards, and d) I'm pretty sure I can still have babies.

Earlier, when I said we went to some bars, what I meant was that my average bedtime was about 5am.  There were a lot of fun places, and fun people that we met.  While waiting outside of a bar deciding what to do, we noticed the bar was showing Ice Age on the TV (what can I say, I love cartoons!).  We were watching it through the window when a girl came out who was sitting at the table under the TV.  She noticed us looking towards her so she came out to have a cigarette and talk to us.  Her name was Maija (she is Latvian) and her boyfriend Sebastien was visiting her from Paris.  They had a big table for just the two of them so she invited us to sit with them. I'm pretty sure they thought we were staring at them from outside, when in fact we were just watching Ice Age!

Anyway, after what started out as just a casual conversation about what we were doing in Riga, where we were from, etc, we ended up hanging out with them the rest of that night, then meeting them for dinner the next night and going to some more bars with them.  We even went to a walk-up window at McDonalds together.  They were a lot of fun and we all hope they will visit Warsaw someday.



In fact everyone that we met there seemed to be really friendly, fluent in English, and interested in talking to us.  I don't know if it was because it was the holidays, by chance, or if it was because that's just how everyone is. I really enjoyed my time in a place I might not have normally visited, and enjoying doing and eating things that I normally wouldn't have.  I guess it's just another example of how my experience here is helping me open my mind to trying new things...

Happy Holidays everyone and see you in 2011!
Tristan