August 24, 2018
It's been almost a year and a half since our Vegas wedding, which was definitely the experience of a lifetime. But if there is anything better than one experience of a lifetime, it's two experiences of a lifetime.
Most people who go to Vegas to get married do it to avoid the hassle of a big blow-out "traditional" wedding. Nobody likes to argue with the family about whom to invite, where people should sit, worrying about logistics for guests, finding a DJ and photographer, weather problems, and all the decorations. What about entertainment for kids? Should we even invite kids? Oh, and finding a venue and a church that will allow a non-Catholic to get married there. And not to mention the cost. Who wants to deal with all of that? Obviously, we did! I guess?
But oh yes, it was worth it. We spent hours and days watching other people's wedding videos and checking their photographs. We poured through Etsy for ideas on decorations and entertainment. We made a thousand origami cranes. It took a couple months, making them in front of the TV, on airplanes, even at work for one of us (ahem). And it was kind of sad when they were finished. Luckily it took another couple weeks to put them on strings to hang.
There were some things that we didn't want to draw out so we did them quickly, and others that took more time. I spent about 3 minutes picking a shirt and tie to go with a recently purchased on-sale suit. Zosia liked shopping for wedding dresses so much that she bought two. We had to meet with priests from 3 different churches to get approval; the church in Czersk where the wedding took place, Zosia's church in Mokotów where she attended regularly, and the church near our apartment to get permission to have a wedding in someone else's district (and so that they could announce the wedding and allow for anyone to oppose it). Zosia's mom also went to the church in Eastern Poland where Zosia was baptized to get her paperwork. Zosia was amazing at keeping track of all of these things, and I just appeared where I was supposed to appear, and pretended to understand Polish when they talked to me.
On one of the visits to Czersk without a car, we got stranded on a freezing February evening and waited for an hour in the cold for the bus to come. It never came, and since Czersk is a quiet town, there was no other public transport late on a Friday evening. We went back to the Church to ask the priest for help, and one of his friends who was hanging out after Friday service happily drove us to the next town so we could find a taxi home.
During these "challenges" we thought about Vegas, where it took about 10 minutes to apply for and receive a marriage license, but our adventures in Warsaw didn't deter us. After sending the invitations, we were excited for every attendance confirmation, especially from guys who actually wanted to travel to spend the day with us. We were humbled how willing people were to get to Warsaw. And of the people who had to take a tram or Uber to get there are also appreciated!
Speaking of invitations, we wanted to "save" the environment (and money, who am I kidding) by creating postcard invitations and electronic RSVPs, rather than those invitations with 7 different pieces of paper of various sizes and thickness and envelopes in one. I still don't know what you're supposed to write in that blank space next to the "M" on those fancy RSVP cards. And in Polish tradition, we tried to meet most people in person to give the invitation and receive the RSVPs. We didn't have a wedding cake; instead spending barely $40 on supplies to make s'mores by the campfire (some of which accidentally disappeared on the bus ride to the venue). And like most Polish weddings, we brought our own alcohol, which made it even cheaper.
A friend from Prague told me about her own wine tasting party, where they had to test wines they wanted at their wedding. It sounded like a great idea, so we bought a bunch of wines and invited people over to help. 20+ bottles later, we ended up with Georgian red and a Portuguese white. Not only is Georgian wine delicious and cheap, Georgia is also a meaningful place to us, and reminds me of my mom, since we were on a trip to Georgia when she died a couple years before. I'll never forget the sunrise the next morning when I could feel her presence all around us. We chose Portuguese because it is also a good value, but because we spent a week in Portugal after we got engaged. When there are millions of wines to choose from, it's easier to narrow it down if they have some meaning.
We took a few other ideas from a friend at work, like putting out jars for people to write notes of advice, stories or messages for us to open after 1, 10, and 25 years. We also bought a bunch of flip flops for ladies with high heels and umbrellas in case of rain. Although we were frugal in some areas, we decided to splurge on a videographer with a drone. The castle at Czersk and the venue Firleje were great for this. Zosia was concerned that the castle wouldn't allow it, but the videographer had the approach of "just do it" and see if they try to stop us.
Tomek and Zosia's mom helped a lot with transportation, setting up, flowers, signs, and decorations. Tomek even took days off from work to help us. You don't think of how many things you have to do, from flower centerpieces, signs for the table assignments, name tents, and all the other decorations. When we picked up the fireworks, we didn't have space in the trunk of Tomek's car, so Zosia had to literally sit on top of a box of explosives. Luckily there were no events at Firleje the day before, so we were able to set everything up on Friday.
There were so many things that we needed help with on the day: Ania and Lukasz driving us around, guys at the Sheraton who stored and carried stuff for us, Doremi and Garth organizing the bus rides, guys serving drinks at the castle, my bro helping with the many generous gifts (and being my "witness" even though he had no idea what the Polish speaking priest was saying), our impromptu flower girl, Ania and Ash with beautiful speeches (and Ash's balloon animals), Tomek put together a lovely video, Alan provided Alanówka, and all the people movers, vodka pushers, and influencers who ensured everyone had a good time. Zosia's dad also helped financially which was a blessing. Once everything was set up, we really didn't have any stress on the day, because there were so many people taking care of us.
We originally thought it would be nice to have the wedding in Czersk, after visiting with Colin and Rachel several months before. We asked at the castle if they have wedding receptions there since the church is just next door, and they looked at us like we were crazy. But the idea of wedding photos inside the castle stayed in our heads, and I didn't understand how it wasn't a "thing" already. We didn't want to do the party there, but at least stop in for some photos and bubbly drinks. The biggest problem was that it was an hour outside of Warsaw, and that we didn't love any of the reception venues in the neighborhood. Plus, having church weddings where you don't have any connections is often hard to do. So we set that idea aside. We visited many possible venues, in the country side, in the city, near a lake. Some were too small, some were too fancy. One was amazing, but they treated us like they were doing us a favor just by letting us visit, and it would be difficult logistically. Finally we found Firleje, which offered the countryside feel we wanted, a lot of space, a good price, and a very attentive event planner, Agata. None of the other places advertised any kind of help, let alone friendly and willing help. That was all we needed, and we were sold.
But what about the church? Could we find one nearby? (nope). Did we still want to go to Czersk? (yep). Unfortunately we still faced the issue that we weren't from Czersk, nor did we ever attend church there. Why would they allow us to take up one of their valuable summer Saturday wedding slots? Then we caught a lucky break. Zosia's dad (a surgeon) told us about a patient he just met who was from a small town outside of Warsaw. One that we might be interested in meeting. The mayor....of CZERSK! She was lovely and immediately introduced us to the priest in Czersk, and everything was set. Someone (or something) was looking out for us big time.
Agata was amazing. Let's just start with that. I didn't think we'd get this much help when we started this process. She answered a million questions, was always available, WANTING to help, not making us feel like we were bothering her. She even met us for a drink in the city, to discuss logistics and introduce us to her friend who also got married in Firleje to answer any questions. We had a couple small hesitations about the venue, regarding the dim lighting, far distance, and dietary needs of some guests (vegan, gluten-free, lactose-free, etc), and she made everything seem so simple. She suggested the DJ, who turned out great and could announce everything in both English and Polish, and made sure we had all the on-site help we needed. The only downside is that it wasn't close to home. Nor to Czersk. So we got comfortable with the fact that guests would spend nearly 3 hours in the bus that day. One hour from Warsaw to Czersk, another hour to Firleje, and a third hour to get back home. If we could entertain them with vodka, spam musubi, and games, we figured they'd survive. Even if not everyone "survived" the ride home.
I can't say that I was actually nervous for the wedding. It was amazing to see all our friends and family there, but since we had already "practiced" in Vegas, I didn't feel any pressure. Except for having to repeat the vows in Polish. I had to practice quite a bit before, and it turned out that I was only prepared for part of it. I don't know if the priest forgot to warn me about the second part, or if I just blacked out. But when he started asking me to say more stuff in Polish, I panicked a little bit because I didn't know what he said. The priest decided that we didn't need a translator, since I claimed to understand what I was saying. To test this during one of our meetings, he told Zosia (in Polish), "I'm going to check if he knows what I am saying", then asked me "what time does the wedding start?". That was it. That was the test. But in fact, this was not actually testing my knowledge of the Polish language, it was testing my ability to keep track of our wedding schedule. Luckily, the answer was 3pm, and he was convinced. The priest was pretty intimidating and direct during our meetings, but during the ceremony he was the sweetest guy we could have asked for. Many people even commented later how nice he was.
Zosia was also stressed for the first dance, but somehow I wasn't worried. I guess since everyone knows she can dance after years in a dance/performance team, she felt pressure to look good, while I just had to look like the clumsy groom, which is pretty standard for wedding dances. However, we didn't want to have something slow and sappy. We tried to make something fun, telling the story of our time together through lyrics of different songs. We procrastinated long enough in our preparations that I was beginning to think I wouldn't have to do any dance, but finally Zosia decided we needed to be at the gym at 6am every day to practice in front of the mirror in the fitness room. After a few days of working on the choreography and morning practice, I started looking forward to our rehearsals. I'd jump out of bed in the morning, and pretended we were in the show "Dancing with the Stars". The professional (Zosia) was teaching the hopeless one (me) how to do it. It turns out I wasn't so terrible.
The weather was great, it wasn't too hot and the rain stayed away. We were worried it would be too hot, which it was inside, but since we could go out for fireworks, s'mores, flip cup, and just to hang, there was no problem. I was happy that we started the party with the traditional bread and vodka greeting from the parents, then danced the Polonez in a huge circle outside (which looked great from the drone). It was also nice of the kids to let me break the pinata later.
The day flew by, and just like everyone says, it was difficult to be able to spend time with everyone. But it was SO MUCH FUN. From the dancing to speeches, videos, games, catching up with people, the hugs, inspirational talks, and just the feeling of love. We were so happy to see all of our family and friends in one place. It was unreal for me to see so many friends from Seattle and different times of our lives come together. For some of us, we hadn't been together in the same room at the same time for 20 years. The party went until after 3am, which still felt like a snap of the fingers. Had the wedding been in the Seattle or Hawaii, not only would it have cost 3 times more, but it would have finished at 11pm and we would have 4 fewer hours of memories. It's great that people make the effort to say a few personal words during the reception line, because sometimes that's the most you'll be able to talk to people in the night. Except in Poland you feel like you should drink vodka with everyone, so I was busy trying to accomplish that goal. I tried to eat whenever I could, but Zosia didn't eat much. There were a ton of leftovers, so she was able to finish them for the next week, and even a year later, we still have some leftover alcohol (for 120 guests we budgeted 1 bottle of vodka, half bottle of wine, and a third bottle of prosecco per person, plus a couple kegs of beer, which left us with 60-70 leftover bottles in the end). But I guess that's better than the opposite, which would be dealing with a revolution when the drinks run out. We've since experimented making different flavored and fruit infused vodka.
We of course have to say thanks to my dad, who was very supportive and easy going, and sponsored dinner the night before for our families to meet and to welcome our friends from home. I will also remember the moment that Kevin showed up after Friday dinner and found us on the street outside of a bar, and everything became real. The gang was all there.
The second wedding was a success, and now we're wondering when (and where) to have the third. It's probably time for it!
We can't stop watching these, so apologies if you are sick of it, but here's our wedding video "trailer" and our first dance. Special thanks to our wonderful photographer Pawel Kotas and videographer team from Spark. We highly recommend them!
It's been almost a year and a half since our Vegas wedding, which was definitely the experience of a lifetime. But if there is anything better than one experience of a lifetime, it's two experiences of a lifetime.
Most people who go to Vegas to get married do it to avoid the hassle of a big blow-out "traditional" wedding. Nobody likes to argue with the family about whom to invite, where people should sit, worrying about logistics for guests, finding a DJ and photographer, weather problems, and all the decorations. What about entertainment for kids? Should we even invite kids? Oh, and finding a venue and a church that will allow a non-Catholic to get married there. And not to mention the cost. Who wants to deal with all of that? Obviously, we did! I guess?
Family
But oh yes, it was worth it. We spent hours and days watching other people's wedding videos and checking their photographs. We poured through Etsy for ideas on decorations and entertainment. We made a thousand origami cranes. It took a couple months, making them in front of the TV, on airplanes, even at work for one of us (ahem). And it was kind of sad when they were finished. Luckily it took another couple weeks to put them on strings to hang.
Weeks' worth of cranes
There were some things that we didn't want to draw out so we did them quickly, and others that took more time. I spent about 3 minutes picking a shirt and tie to go with a recently purchased on-sale suit. Zosia liked shopping for wedding dresses so much that she bought two. We had to meet with priests from 3 different churches to get approval; the church in Czersk where the wedding took place, Zosia's church in Mokotów where she attended regularly, and the church near our apartment to get permission to have a wedding in someone else's district (and so that they could announce the wedding and allow for anyone to oppose it). Zosia's mom also went to the church in Eastern Poland where Zosia was baptized to get her paperwork. Zosia was amazing at keeping track of all of these things, and I just appeared where I was supposed to appear, and pretended to understand Polish when they talked to me.
On one of the visits to Czersk without a car, we got stranded on a freezing February evening and waited for an hour in the cold for the bus to come. It never came, and since Czersk is a quiet town, there was no other public transport late on a Friday evening. We went back to the Church to ask the priest for help, and one of his friends who was hanging out after Friday service happily drove us to the next town so we could find a taxi home.
During these "challenges" we thought about Vegas, where it took about 10 minutes to apply for and receive a marriage license, but our adventures in Warsaw didn't deter us. After sending the invitations, we were excited for every attendance confirmation, especially from guys who actually wanted to travel to spend the day with us. We were humbled how willing people were to get to Warsaw. And of the people who had to take a tram or Uber to get there are also appreciated!
Speaking of invitations, we wanted to "save" the environment (and money, who am I kidding) by creating postcard invitations and electronic RSVPs, rather than those invitations with 7 different pieces of paper of various sizes and thickness and envelopes in one. I still don't know what you're supposed to write in that blank space next to the "M" on those fancy RSVP cards. And in Polish tradition, we tried to meet most people in person to give the invitation and receive the RSVPs. We didn't have a wedding cake; instead spending barely $40 on supplies to make s'mores by the campfire (some of which accidentally disappeared on the bus ride to the venue). And like most Polish weddings, we brought our own alcohol, which made it even cheaper.
A friend from Prague told me about her own wine tasting party, where they had to test wines they wanted at their wedding. It sounded like a great idea, so we bought a bunch of wines and invited people over to help. 20+ bottles later, we ended up with Georgian red and a Portuguese white. Not only is Georgian wine delicious and cheap, Georgia is also a meaningful place to us, and reminds me of my mom, since we were on a trip to Georgia when she died a couple years before. I'll never forget the sunrise the next morning when I could feel her presence all around us. We chose Portuguese because it is also a good value, but because we spent a week in Portugal after we got engaged. When there are millions of wines to choose from, it's easier to narrow it down if they have some meaning.
We took a few other ideas from a friend at work, like putting out jars for people to write notes of advice, stories or messages for us to open after 1, 10, and 25 years. We also bought a bunch of flip flops for ladies with high heels and umbrellas in case of rain. Although we were frugal in some areas, we decided to splurge on a videographer with a drone. The castle at Czersk and the venue Firleje were great for this. Zosia was concerned that the castle wouldn't allow it, but the videographer had the approach of "just do it" and see if they try to stop us.
Tomek and Zosia's mom helped a lot with transportation, setting up, flowers, signs, and decorations. Tomek even took days off from work to help us. You don't think of how many things you have to do, from flower centerpieces, signs for the table assignments, name tents, and all the other decorations. When we picked up the fireworks, we didn't have space in the trunk of Tomek's car, so Zosia had to literally sit on top of a box of explosives. Luckily there were no events at Firleje the day before, so we were able to set everything up on Friday.
Don't fart on the explosives!
There were so many things that we needed help with on the day: Ania and Lukasz driving us around, guys at the Sheraton who stored and carried stuff for us, Doremi and Garth organizing the bus rides, guys serving drinks at the castle, my bro helping with the many generous gifts (and being my "witness" even though he had no idea what the Polish speaking priest was saying), our impromptu flower girl, Ania and Ash with beautiful speeches (and Ash's balloon animals), Tomek put together a lovely video, Alan provided Alanówka, and all the people movers, vodka pushers, and influencers who ensured everyone had a good time. Zosia's dad also helped financially which was a blessing. Once everything was set up, we really didn't have any stress on the day, because there were so many people taking care of us.
Ania was Zosia's maid of honor
I was Zosia's groom
We originally thought it would be nice to have the wedding in Czersk, after visiting with Colin and Rachel several months before. We asked at the castle if they have wedding receptions there since the church is just next door, and they looked at us like we were crazy. But the idea of wedding photos inside the castle stayed in our heads, and I didn't understand how it wasn't a "thing" already. We didn't want to do the party there, but at least stop in for some photos and bubbly drinks. The biggest problem was that it was an hour outside of Warsaw, and that we didn't love any of the reception venues in the neighborhood. Plus, having church weddings where you don't have any connections is often hard to do. So we set that idea aside. We visited many possible venues, in the country side, in the city, near a lake. Some were too small, some were too fancy. One was amazing, but they treated us like they were doing us a favor just by letting us visit, and it would be difficult logistically. Finally we found Firleje, which offered the countryside feel we wanted, a lot of space, a good price, and a very attentive event planner, Agata. None of the other places advertised any kind of help, let alone friendly and willing help. That was all we needed, and we were sold.
But what about the church? Could we find one nearby? (nope). Did we still want to go to Czersk? (yep). Unfortunately we still faced the issue that we weren't from Czersk, nor did we ever attend church there. Why would they allow us to take up one of their valuable summer Saturday wedding slots? Then we caught a lucky break. Zosia's dad (a surgeon) told us about a patient he just met who was from a small town outside of Warsaw. One that we might be interested in meeting. The mayor....of CZERSK! She was lovely and immediately introduced us to the priest in Czersk, and everything was set. Someone (or something) was looking out for us big time.
Hugs in Czersk castle
Throwing the bride, because why not
Agata was amazing. Let's just start with that. I didn't think we'd get this much help when we started this process. She answered a million questions, was always available, WANTING to help, not making us feel like we were bothering her. She even met us for a drink in the city, to discuss logistics and introduce us to her friend who also got married in Firleje to answer any questions. We had a couple small hesitations about the venue, regarding the dim lighting, far distance, and dietary needs of some guests (vegan, gluten-free, lactose-free, etc), and she made everything seem so simple. She suggested the DJ, who turned out great and could announce everything in both English and Polish, and made sure we had all the on-site help we needed. The only downside is that it wasn't close to home. Nor to Czersk. So we got comfortable with the fact that guests would spend nearly 3 hours in the bus that day. One hour from Warsaw to Czersk, another hour to Firleje, and a third hour to get back home. If we could entertain them with vodka, spam musubi, and games, we figured they'd survive. Even if not everyone "survived" the ride home.
I can't say that I was actually nervous for the wedding. It was amazing to see all our friends and family there, but since we had already "practiced" in Vegas, I didn't feel any pressure. Except for having to repeat the vows in Polish. I had to practice quite a bit before, and it turned out that I was only prepared for part of it. I don't know if the priest forgot to warn me about the second part, or if I just blacked out. But when he started asking me to say more stuff in Polish, I panicked a little bit because I didn't know what he said. The priest decided that we didn't need a translator, since I claimed to understand what I was saying. To test this during one of our meetings, he told Zosia (in Polish), "I'm going to check if he knows what I am saying", then asked me "what time does the wedding start?". That was it. That was the test. But in fact, this was not actually testing my knowledge of the Polish language, it was testing my ability to keep track of our wedding schedule. Luckily, the answer was 3pm, and he was convinced. The priest was pretty intimidating and direct during our meetings, but during the ceremony he was the sweetest guy we could have asked for. Many people even commented later how nice he was.
The ceremony
All smiles
Everyone inside the castle walls
Zosia was also stressed for the first dance, but somehow I wasn't worried. I guess since everyone knows she can dance after years in a dance/performance team, she felt pressure to look good, while I just had to look like the clumsy groom, which is pretty standard for wedding dances. However, we didn't want to have something slow and sappy. We tried to make something fun, telling the story of our time together through lyrics of different songs. We procrastinated long enough in our preparations that I was beginning to think I wouldn't have to do any dance, but finally Zosia decided we needed to be at the gym at 6am every day to practice in front of the mirror in the fitness room. After a few days of working on the choreography and morning practice, I started looking forward to our rehearsals. I'd jump out of bed in the morning, and pretended we were in the show "Dancing with the Stars". The professional (Zosia) was teaching the hopeless one (me) how to do it. It turns out I wasn't so terrible.
Showing off her sweet moves
Andy made a cameo appearance
My favorite part of the Polish wedding tradition
Polonez dance out front
Zosia's favorite part: s'mores
The day flew by, and just like everyone says, it was difficult to be able to spend time with everyone. But it was SO MUCH FUN. From the dancing to speeches, videos, games, catching up with people, the hugs, inspirational talks, and just the feeling of love. We were so happy to see all of our family and friends in one place. It was unreal for me to see so many friends from Seattle and different times of our lives come together. For some of us, we hadn't been together in the same room at the same time for 20 years. The party went until after 3am, which still felt like a snap of the fingers. Had the wedding been in the Seattle or Hawaii, not only would it have cost 3 times more, but it would have finished at 11pm and we would have 4 fewer hours of memories. It's great that people make the effort to say a few personal words during the reception line, because sometimes that's the most you'll be able to talk to people in the night. Except in Poland you feel like you should drink vodka with everyone, so I was busy trying to accomplish that goal. I tried to eat whenever I could, but Zosia didn't eat much. There were a ton of leftovers, so she was able to finish them for the next week, and even a year later, we still have some leftover alcohol (for 120 guests we budgeted 1 bottle of vodka, half bottle of wine, and a third bottle of prosecco per person, plus a couple kegs of beer, which left us with 60-70 leftover bottles in the end). But I guess that's better than the opposite, which would be dealing with a revolution when the drinks run out. We've since experimented making different flavored and fruit infused vodka.
We of course have to say thanks to my dad, who was very supportive and easy going, and sponsored dinner the night before for our families to meet and to welcome our friends from home. I will also remember the moment that Kevin showed up after Friday dinner and found us on the street outside of a bar, and everything became real. The gang was all there.
The second wedding was a success, and now we're wondering when (and where) to have the third. It's probably time for it!
We can't stop watching these, so apologies if you are sick of it, but here's our wedding video "trailer" and our first dance. Special thanks to our wonderful photographer Pawel Kotas and videographer team from Spark. We highly recommend them!
