A conversation Mom and Dad didn't have about their trip to Poland

In the early evening, just before dinner on the first night of their Mediterranean cruise, Cheryl and Fred Sakura reminisce about their recent trip to Poland to visit their oldest son, Tristan. This conversation is entirely true. Except for some of the parts that are false.

Dad and Mom at the Palace on the Water

Mom: I had so much fun on our week-long trip to see Tristan...Warsaw and Krakow were very nice places...I had high expectations after the way our dear son described it, but it was even better than I thought

Dad: Yea it was great. And very nice of him to give up his bed for us, even though he hurt his shoulder sleeping on the sofa.

Mom: He's such a nice boy. The perfect son really.

Dad: Did Tristan tell you to say that?

Mom: Of course not. I thought of it all by myself.

Dad: If it wasn't so far away, I'd like to visit Poland more often. And all of his friends in the US should visit too.  And SOON!!

Mom: I'm already thinking about going again next Spring

Dad: Let's just try to get more adjusted to the time change before we go.

Mom: Yea, you kept falling asleep in the middle of the day, like on the bus and in the movie theater...and waking up often in the middle of the night.

Dad: I think it was that darn red-eye flight from Seattle. I couldn't sleep on the flight and it just ruined me for the first few days.

Mom: But the red eye is the best option to get there. And Tristan was nice enough to take some time off work to meet us at the airport. It's a good thing he did because we couldn't pronounce the name of his street to tell the taxi.

Dad: Yea, it was nice of him. But I think he just wanted to make sure his suitcase of snacks arrived safe and sound. He really likes his Stacy's pita chips and Pace picante sauce.

Mom: And the Jif peanut butter, the curry, the stuff for s'mores...

Goodies that Mom and Dad brought Tristan

Dad: You really liked his apartment, right? And it was nice that he had wireless internet. I don't know why he complains so much about getting it set up. It seemed to work fine.

Mom: Yes, I love his apartment. And it's a good about the internet too, because without it, I don't know how we'd pull up city maps or book tours in Krakow on my fancy iPad.

Dad: Or update our Facebook statuses.

Mom: I wonder if Tristan was happy that we took so long to get ready in the morning that we normally didn't leave the apartment until after noon

Dad: Well, even though he went out late at night, he kept waking up early to get ready to go

Mom: Yea, I think he thought we wanted to get early starts to the days

Dad: Well, now he knows...we're retired! We don't do early starts. What are you laughing at?

Mom: I was just thinking about all the times I kept turning the toilet paper roll around so it rolls away from you instead of towards you, because I know how much it annoys him. I wonder if he found it.

Dad: That was you? I was going to do the same thing! I'm sure he found it, if you kept doing it over and over, he must have been turning it back around.

(Mom and dad give each other high-fives)

Mom: I love playing jokes on him. I also wrote "Mom" with my finger in the shower so he'll see it when the shower steams up.

Dad: So he'll think of "Mom" when he takes a shower? That's kinda weird.

Mom: ...Ok let's change the subject.

Dad: Yea, let's talk about my new camera. I was very happy to use it to take pictures all over the city

Mom: You took pictures of everything; the Old Town, the Hard Rock Cafe, the grocery store, butts, and even all our meals

Pictures in the Hard Rock Cafe

Pictures in the grocery store

Pictures in H&M

Picture of a butt

Dad: I know, it's awesome to take pictures of food...all the cool people do it. I mean, you've seen Tristan's mobile uploads on Facebook, right? They're awesome!

Mom: And his awesome jumping pictures. Remember my jumping picture at the Grand Canyon?

(Another high-five)

Mom jumping over the Grand Canyon in 2010

Dad: Anyway, we ate some nice meals so I wanted to capture them.

Mom and her food

Mom: You're right. I finally got to eat one of those tasty waffles everyone in Old Town was eating. And I really liked the pierogis, and you liked the golonka right?

Dad: Yes, the golokna was very nice...I still dream about that 1 kilo chunk of pork meat. By the way, it's "pierogi".

Mom: That's what I said

Dad: No, you said pierogis. Pierogi is already plural, so you don't need to add an "s" to it.

Mom: Oh, look at you Mr Polish speaker. You shouldn't talk. What did you call that restaurant we went to with Tristan's friends from work? Chel-awp-skee Jahd-low?

Dad: That's how it's spelled! "Chłopskie Jadło". I pronounced it exactly how it's spelled.

Mom: Exactly wrong, you mean. Speaking of dinner, Agata, Moni, and Kuba were very nice...he seems to be in good hands here.

Dad: Chellll-awwwwp-skeeee.....

Mom: Maybe if you could pronounce words correctly, the lady at Carrefour wouldn't have yelled at you

Dad: I didn't do anything at Carrefour! I think she thought I was stealing gum, but she only spoke Polish

Mom: Why would she think that? You must have been doing something suspicious

Dad: I don't know...maybe she was just jealous that I had teeth to be able to chew gum, and she didn't have any teeth.

Mom: That makes no sense. And don't be mean.

Dad: I'm not...but I can just understand the stress that Tristan went through when he first arrived. It can be intimidating.  At least he seems to be adjusted now.  I still can't get over that we couldn't dry our clean clothes in a dryer. 

Mom: Yea, and I'm very impressed that he can speak Polish to the waiters, taxi drivers and at the train station.

Dad: He's probably just making up random sounds so WE think it's Polish, even though it's just gibberish and nobody understands him. I mean, I can also say "czszywzczzczassszzzz" like he said.

Mom: No, you can't. But you're right.  We should have asked his friend Kasia to test his Polish in front of us

Dad: Speaking of Kasia, it was really nice of her to give us the tour of Old Town and of the Uprising Museum

Nun texting in Old Town

Mom: Yea, Kasia was great. At first I was hoping that Tristan could join us, but then it was nice to hang out with just her. I didn't miss Tristan at all.

Dad: Who's Tristan?

Mom: No idea. But we definitely learned a lot about what Poland went though during and after World War II.

Dad: I never knew about all that, and it's very inspiring that they wanted to rebuild the city after the total destruction.

Mom: Yea, we'll have to re-watch the movie "The Pianist" so see if we can connect some of the stories.

Dad: And going to Auschwitz was so intense and emotional.

Mom: Yea, I am glad that we went. And to Krakow and the salt mines.

Krakow

Dad: Oh, I loved licking the salty walls in the Salt Mine!

Mom: (shaking head)

Dad: What?

Mom: I told you not to do that.

Dad: But the other kids were doing it!

Mom: So you decided it would be a good idea to lick a salty wall that other kids just licked?

Dad: Uhhh, errrr. Yea?  My tongue reaches higher than theirs. 

Mom in the salt mines

Mom: Anyway, What else did you love about the trip, that's not going to make me sick to my stomach?

Dad: I'm really happy that we saw Wilanow Palace, Lazienki Park...and the fountain light show...that was really neat, even though I was falling asleep while standing up.

Chopin monument at Lazienki Park

Mom: Me too. And the film "Bengali Detective" at the Warsaw Film Festival was a fun experience.

Dad: Yea, we should do that kind of thing more often

Mom: And I just liked walking around the city and people watching.

Dad: Me too

Mom: I noticed that the girls here are much better looking than the guys. No wonder Tristan likes it...since he's so tall, funny and handsome.

Dad: Yes, very tall, funny, and handsome, just like me.  So he must get lots of chicks.

Mom: (silence)

Dad: (holding up his right hand) Am I right??? High-five???

Mom: (walking away) I think it's time for dinner now...

Tristan would like to thank his mom and dad for coming to visit, for bringing all the snacks and treats and for taking me out to eat every day...I felt like a kid again. Love you guys and I hope to see you soon!