Dear Gas Man...
Thank you for making me appreciate the things in life that I take for granted, like hot water and a working stove. As you know, whenever there is a sign posted in my apartment building entry, it's usually bad news. It usually means that I will have some inconvenience, so I take a picture of the letter and have someone at work translate it for me. This time, you said that my gas would be off for 4 days. First of all, is that even legal? I'm not sure. But I guess you don't care anyway. It was going to be a bit annoying to not have hot water or a stove, but since I had cross fit, swimming, and spinning over the first few days, I could just shower at the gym. I could survive.
The problem was the mornings when I didn't go to the gym. I had to be creative. I bathed myself using water from a small yellow bucket, mixing cold water and boiling water from the kettle. I'd wet myself (don't be childish, I don't mean peeing in my pants...I mean I wet myself with the water from the bucket), then wash, and pour the rest of the bucket of water on my head to rinse off. That first Tuesday, my head and legs were itchy all day and I couldn't figure out why...until I realized I probably didn't rinse well enough. I don't know if you've tried it, but pouring water on your head doesn't rinse everything on your body squeaky clean. The next morning I prepared more hot water, and set the bucket of cold water out over night so it would become room temperature (good idea, right?). This allowed me to make more warm water, which gave me enough for two rinses. Some people call me a genius. Thank you, Gas Man, for allowing me to realize my genius potential. Feel free to share this tip with others whose gas you turn off.
The part that bothered me was that you were supposed to schedule an appointment with me during the week to do the new installation in my apartment, then come on the Friday morning to check that everything was fine. I never heard from you during the week, so Ilona called you to check when you were coming. Do you remember that? You told her that you would come on Friday morning (before noon) to do the final check, but you didn't mention anything about needing 4 or 5 hours for the installation, like my neighbor Ania said you scheduled with her. On Friday afternoon I had to go to the airport (weekend snowboarding in Italy) and still hadn't heard from you. I'm sorry if you came after I left, but I left at 1:30pm and you said you'd be there by that time. I naively thought that you decided you didn't need to come inside, and when I returned on Monday, the gas would be working. I should know by now not to make these types of assumptions. Luckily I had a few hot showers in Italy, with a bit of snowboarding in between, because hot showers were not waiting for me when I returned to Warsaw.
But you already knew that.
When I got back on Monday evening, the first thing I did was go to the stove to see if it worked. I closed my eyes and slowly turned the knob, hoping to hear the subtle hiss of the gas coming out. Silence. In the stairwell there was a new gas meter (it looks very nice by the way, almost worth all the dust and debris you created that have somehow made their way under my door into my apartment), and a lever I'd never seen before that was switched to OFF. Since there were 3 other levers switched to ON, I thought it must be the lever for my apartment, and you were leaving it for me to turn it on. I appreciated that, because you know how much I love turning levers. I crossed my fingers, closed my eyes again (hoping nothing would explode), and turned it. Still no luck (but also luck, because nothing exploded, and no neighbors came out to yell at me for messing something up in their apartment). I was cold and sweaty after snowboarding and traveling that day, so I visited my friend, Mr. yellow bucket. And I sang additional praises for this whole process, of course.
Ilona, Monika, and my neighbor Ania were all very helpful in trying to figure this out. Remember them? You spoke to all 3. Ilona arranged for you to come to me on Wednesday of week 2 (day 10 without gas), because in the previous week, somehow you forgot about both installing in my unit and checking that the installation was OK. My apartment is #7, in the middle floor...it's not hard to remember. Thanks anyway for coming on Day 10. It's a nice round number. You arrived at 8:10 am and were gone just a few minutes later. But of course, you know that nothing was was fixed. You wanted to call my landlord just to check that he was OK with the installation (wouldn't that have been a good idea WEEKS ago when planning to do this in the first place?). After talking to my landlord, I loved how you threw your hands in the air and said "we're leaving!" Well, it was nice for you to stop by to say hi anyway. I would have made you breakfast, but my stove wasn't working. You said you were leaving because the landlord told you NOT to do the installation! Since we were having trouble communicating in Polish, I called Moni to get a translated explanation. I guess that my best plea in Polish, "I want hot water," wasn't convincing enough for you. As you could tell, my Polish is a bit limited. So Moni called my landlord, and he told her no as well, and probably yelled at her, because he is never very nice. I'm sorry if he yelled at you too. My only guess is that he never knew that the installation was going to happen, so he wasn't prepared to say yes. You and your team left, obviously not happy that you came to me for nothing. I'm sorry for you, but also for me, because I was back to the same position I was 10 days before. No gas, no hot water, and no idea when it would be back on.
On the bright side, this whole experience made me think about this scene from Dumb and Dumber. Have you seen it? It's a good one, and since you are a Gas Man, you might enjoy it. Also, thanks for giving me a good excuse to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches every day.
In the end, you made some compromise with the landlord, and returned to do some work to turn the gas on again. I don't know what the compromise was, but as long as I have a hot shower and working stove, I don't care. It's amazing how many things in life like this we take for granted, only to throw a fit when it's taken away from us. I'm glad I'm lucky enough to have running water, electricity and all that. So thanks for giving me the opportunity to appreciate these little things in life.
And how amazing that first shower felt.
Yours truly (and I hope to never see you again),
Tristan
Thank you for making me appreciate the things in life that I take for granted, like hot water and a working stove. As you know, whenever there is a sign posted in my apartment building entry, it's usually bad news. It usually means that I will have some inconvenience, so I take a picture of the letter and have someone at work translate it for me. This time, you said that my gas would be off for 4 days. First of all, is that even legal? I'm not sure. But I guess you don't care anyway. It was going to be a bit annoying to not have hot water or a stove, but since I had cross fit, swimming, and spinning over the first few days, I could just shower at the gym. I could survive.
I hate seeing signs like this
The problem was the mornings when I didn't go to the gym. I had to be creative. I bathed myself using water from a small yellow bucket, mixing cold water and boiling water from the kettle. I'd wet myself (don't be childish, I don't mean peeing in my pants...I mean I wet myself with the water from the bucket), then wash, and pour the rest of the bucket of water on my head to rinse off. That first Tuesday, my head and legs were itchy all day and I couldn't figure out why...until I realized I probably didn't rinse well enough. I don't know if you've tried it, but pouring water on your head doesn't rinse everything on your body squeaky clean. The next morning I prepared more hot water, and set the bucket of cold water out over night so it would become room temperature (good idea, right?). This allowed me to make more warm water, which gave me enough for two rinses. Some people call me a genius. Thank you, Gas Man, for allowing me to realize my genius potential. Feel free to share this tip with others whose gas you turn off.
The part that bothered me was that you were supposed to schedule an appointment with me during the week to do the new installation in my apartment, then come on the Friday morning to check that everything was fine. I never heard from you during the week, so Ilona called you to check when you were coming. Do you remember that? You told her that you would come on Friday morning (before noon) to do the final check, but you didn't mention anything about needing 4 or 5 hours for the installation, like my neighbor Ania said you scheduled with her. On Friday afternoon I had to go to the airport (weekend snowboarding in Italy) and still hadn't heard from you. I'm sorry if you came after I left, but I left at 1:30pm and you said you'd be there by that time. I naively thought that you decided you didn't need to come inside, and when I returned on Monday, the gas would be working. I should know by now not to make these types of assumptions. Luckily I had a few hot showers in Italy, with a bit of snowboarding in between, because hot showers were not waiting for me when I returned to Warsaw.
But you already knew that.
When I got back on Monday evening, the first thing I did was go to the stove to see if it worked. I closed my eyes and slowly turned the knob, hoping to hear the subtle hiss of the gas coming out. Silence. In the stairwell there was a new gas meter (it looks very nice by the way, almost worth all the dust and debris you created that have somehow made their way under my door into my apartment), and a lever I'd never seen before that was switched to OFF. Since there were 3 other levers switched to ON, I thought it must be the lever for my apartment, and you were leaving it for me to turn it on. I appreciated that, because you know how much I love turning levers. I crossed my fingers, closed my eyes again (hoping nothing would explode), and turned it. Still no luck (but also luck, because nothing exploded, and no neighbors came out to yell at me for messing something up in their apartment). I was cold and sweaty after snowboarding and traveling that day, so I visited my friend, Mr. yellow bucket. And I sang additional praises for this whole process, of course.
Ilona, Monika, and my neighbor Ania were all very helpful in trying to figure this out. Remember them? You spoke to all 3. Ilona arranged for you to come to me on Wednesday of week 2 (day 10 without gas), because in the previous week, somehow you forgot about both installing in my unit and checking that the installation was OK. My apartment is #7, in the middle floor...it's not hard to remember. Thanks anyway for coming on Day 10. It's a nice round number. You arrived at 8:10 am and were gone just a few minutes later. But of course, you know that nothing was was fixed. You wanted to call my landlord just to check that he was OK with the installation (wouldn't that have been a good idea WEEKS ago when planning to do this in the first place?). After talking to my landlord, I loved how you threw your hands in the air and said "we're leaving!" Well, it was nice for you to stop by to say hi anyway. I would have made you breakfast, but my stove wasn't working. You said you were leaving because the landlord told you NOT to do the installation! Since we were having trouble communicating in Polish, I called Moni to get a translated explanation. I guess that my best plea in Polish, "I want hot water," wasn't convincing enough for you. As you could tell, my Polish is a bit limited. So Moni called my landlord, and he told her no as well, and probably yelled at her, because he is never very nice. I'm sorry if he yelled at you too. My only guess is that he never knew that the installation was going to happen, so he wasn't prepared to say yes. You and your team left, obviously not happy that you came to me for nothing. I'm sorry for you, but also for me, because I was back to the same position I was 10 days before. No gas, no hot water, and no idea when it would be back on.
On the bright side, this whole experience made me think about this scene from Dumb and Dumber. Have you seen it? It's a good one, and since you are a Gas Man, you might enjoy it. Also, thanks for giving me a good excuse to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches every day.
In the end, you made some compromise with the landlord, and returned to do some work to turn the gas on again. I don't know what the compromise was, but as long as I have a hot shower and working stove, I don't care. It's amazing how many things in life like this we take for granted, only to throw a fit when it's taken away from us. I'm glad I'm lucky enough to have running water, electricity and all that. So thanks for giving me the opportunity to appreciate these little things in life.
And how amazing that first shower felt.
Yours truly (and I hope to never see you again),
Tristan
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