January 17, 2016
The Funai sisters are something pretty incredible, and I'm lucky to be able to call them my family. Lilly, Alice, and May; all lovable, hilarious, and as sweet as the desserts that come out of their kitchens. And the fact that they had 5 brothers means they can surely put up with (and dish out) some crap.
You may have already read about Grandma Alice, my dad's mother who passed away in 2015 at the age of 97. I wrote about her shortly after she passed, and my memories of her are still as vivid as ever.
Family Selfie at Grandma's memorial service
Aunty Lilly lives in Seattle; 104 and still as sassy as ever. I saw her a few months ago and her personality still fills the room. Her memory isn't what it used to be, but she still remembers enough to remind me to eat more cookies, in between bouts of giggling and what I can only describe as Aunty Lilly Sassiness.
Aunty Lilly selfie
And on my annual trip to Hawaii this year, I was able to visit Aunty May, the baby of the family, who along with her husband Tony, are going strong at 95 years young.
If Aunty May wants ice cream for dinner, Aunty May gets ice cream for dinner
My dad wanted me to ask Aunty May about her parents (dad's grandparents), since he is trying to put together some book on our family history. It got me thinking that I never ask my family members about their life outside of the world I already know. How many of us know how our parents met, or what our grandparents did for work, or what life was like for them when they were young (except for the "fact" that they had to walk to school up hill in the snow both ways)?
If there is one thing I know about Uncle Tony and Aunty May, it's that they love eating at Zippy's. And why not, because it's a staple on Oahu, and they give a discount to senior citizens. I called Aunty to make sure they were home before I stopped by, and sure enough, as she was hanging up the phone, I could hear Uncle in the background "Maybe he wants to go to Zippy's for dinner?" Yes, yes I do.
Even at 95, they are still pretty sharp, except that Aunty confused Portland and Poland for a minute. But let's be honest, a lot of people do that. When she answered the phone and I said "Hi Aunty, it's Tristan", I half-expected a "Who?" or an "And...?", but instead I got a "Ohh Tristan! How are you!? Are you in town? Come on over!" They certainly know how to make their family feel special.
Sure enough, after a short chat, we headed over to Zippy's (which they call their second home). As we got into my rental car, I helped Aunty May into the back seat. They move a little slower than they used to, but can still get to where they need to go. As I was helping her, she said "I don't need help, go help Uncle!" There's that Funai sister sass. So I reached for Uncle and he promptly shooed me away. Uncle has a beautiful bamboo cane that was made by his grandson, Andrew. He walks a bit slow, tapping the cane into the pavement with every step, but still manages. Combined with his deep, masculine voice, it's like a mix of a tall Yoda (the way he walks) and friendly Darth Vader (the way he talks). I mean this in the best possible way of course. When Uncle Tony talks, his voice makes you listen.
In the restaurant it took only about 5 minutes before they saw someone they knew; a guy from Japan who was in town visiting for the PGA golf tournament. Of course they would know some random guy from Japan eating at Zippy's.
Dinner was very educational. I learned that their granddaughter (my cousin) Karen was pregnant, and that her sister Denise is working for some fashion designer in NYC. No offense girls, that's awesome, but I probably could have found that out from social media (or you could have just told me!). But that night I wanted to learn something I couldn't learn from any Facey or Tweety app.
My first question: How did you guys meet? Aunty May blushed and said it was a secret. Then she told me that Uncle Tony was her brother George's sergeant in the Army (the boys were in the 442nd together, a WWII regiment made up of mostly Japanese Americans). Uncle Tony never got sent overseas, but George fought in Europe and was captured and held as a POW for what could have been 3 years. Apparently Uncle George never talked much about it, but since he and Tony had a special bond (since George introduced him to his sister and all), George told him about when he got captured: they heard some noises on the battle field and his superior ordered him to come check it with him. So they went out, he heard a pop, the other guy dropped dead, and George got captured. This was real life.
I asked Aunty May about her parents, and she told me about her dad, (Great)-Grandpa Funai, who was born in Japan. His mother died when he was young and his dad re-married. After the marriage, Grandpa Funai (as a kid) was sent to a Buddhist boarding school, which he hated. So naturally he ran away when he was 5 years old, and was found on the streets by a guy named Funai. This guy ended up adopting him, giving him the name Funai. So my Great-Grandpa Funai wasn't even born a Funai; he was literally adopted off the street. I already knew about Grandma Funai (his wife), which my Grandma Alice told in her story about life in the interment camp during the War. Grandma Funai (Alice and May's mom) took her own life in the camp, because it was too depressing and hopeless to live in a prison camp, detained by her own country, the United States of America, just for being of Japanese decent. My Grandma wrote a short memoir about this, which breaks my heart every time I read it. Not only for Grandma Funai, but because of the injustices that abounded at the time, and that my dad was born in such an awful place. All while Tony, George, and many others were fighting for the country that turned its back on them. Ok, so the internment camp story is for another time.
Similarly, Uncle Tony's dad was arrested the day after Pearl Harbor was bombed, since he was a prominent Japanese businessman living in Hawaii. He wasn't sent to an internment camp (generally it didn't happen in Hawaii), but to an actual prison, just for having Japanese blood. Apparently the FBI was following them all around, including Aunty May and Grandma Alice, as they found out later that the feds knew a lot about them. Since my family went through this back in the 1940s and even after the war, it really disturbs me how some ignorant people treat Muslims with this same suspicion and disrespect these days.
By the time we got to this part of the history lesson it was getting late, and we had to go home. I could have stayed and talked with them for hours (or days), so I'll have to continue the stories next time. But for a few hours on this Sunday evening, I did what I should have been doing for a long time already; finding out who my family is, and how I got to be here. After all, everything that's happened in my family is reflected in their personalities and behavior, which inevitably led to my existence and influenced the person I am today. I should have known this from watching the Star Wars movies, because that's exactly what happens there!
Thinking about this now made me realize something odd: Since Lilly, Alice, and May all lived in different places as long as I've known them, I don't think I've ever seen all three of them in the same place at the same time. I can only imagine that it was something special.
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